Lunch Date!

[scaredybot]

Who: Mayday and Pipes (and spectators?)
Where: Maccadams
When: Before the Missing Medic Incident
What: the courting habits of giant weenies
Warnings: embarrassing amounts of dorkiness


Mayday arrives a little early for his date with Pipes. Just a little. Or a little lot. Maybe a lot lot early. Definitely very early.

But it's okay! It gives him time to pick a nice seat and wipe it down. And then clean the table. He's still feeling nervous after that, so it can't hurt for him to clean the rest of the tables, right?

Right.

He's started scrubbing the floor by the time Pipes arrives.

Comments

[planate]

Pipes arrives just on time, having no worries or anything. It sure is nice not being a rampant shitbaby.

He saunters over to Mayday, on the floor, and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't think I was that late." he says, joke clear in his tone.

[scaredybot]

"Pipes!" Mayday shrieks, part startled and part excited. He jolts upright, dropping his scrubber and narrowly avoiding slamming his head into the underside of a table.

"Hi! I was just, um, y'know, I- when I'm, and then I- so. Cleaning. Hi."

So eloquent.

[planate]

"It's okay!" he says, holding his hands out.

He's figured you out by now, Mayday. You're not particularly complex. Not that that's a bad thing.

"D'you want to get a drink?"

[scaredybot]

Mayday is a not of simple needs, yes. Simple and sterile.

"S-sorry," he says, cheeks heating as he gives Pipes a little smile.

"Do I?" He shakes his head. "I mean, I do! Want. A drink. With you."

[planate]

"Well, it would be a bit awkward if I asked you to the bar and you didn't want a drink. What do you like?"

It occurs to Pipes that maybe he should've gotten to know Mayday a bit better first but whatever, man.

[scaredybot]

Mayday laughs. Very awkwardly. Most of Mayday's laughs are awkward. Most of Mayday is awkward. Still, he gives Pipes a smile because Pipes invited him on a date and is offering him drinks and wow this has never happened to him before.

"Um, I don't... really know," he says. "There was this really nice oil I had once, but mostly I just drink, uh. Fuel. Plain fuel."

He's not a very adventurous sort.

[planate]

"I don't think there's much of a selection..."

He wanders over to the bar.

"...Just regular Engex?"

[scaredybot]

"Yes! Sure!" Mayday isn't feeling particularly picky about his drinks because he is having them with Pipes. Drinks with a friend. Drinks with friend Pipes on a date.

Suddenly he jolts and rushes after Pipes. "Wait, can I wash my glass!"

[planate]

He rolls it along the table without even looking up.

"I'm surprised there's anything at all... Nautica did good."

[scaredybot]

Catching the glass - he doesn't even fumble it! Much - Mayday begins the quick and familiar process of sterilizing it.

"Yeah, this place is pretty great given what we have to work with."

[planate]

Having filled his own, Pipes saunters back over to where Mayday is, leaning on the bar and crossing his arms. Holy goddamn he's so smooth look at this smooth motherfucker.

"The people make it better."

SO

SMOOTH

[scaredybot]

Mayday actually looks around, as if trying to figure out which people Pipes is referring to. Then he jolts a little and ducks his head, cheeks blazing.

"M-me?" he squeaks, pushing his glass at Pipes to distract himself.

[planate]

Pipes just chinhands. Yes, Mayday. You.

[scaredybot]

Mayday's face slowly glows progressively redder under Pipes's gaze, and he glances around bashfully and twiddles his fingers.

"W-what? Do I have something on my face?"

[planate]

"You know what I mean~"

[scaredybot]

Mayday promptly explodes from bashfulness overload. Many die.

In reality he just makes a squeaky little noise and flails a hand in Pipes's general direction, his other hand covering his face.

This is more flirting than he can handle!

[planate]

It is Not Very Good Flirting, let's be real. Pipes has no idea what he's doing.

He laughs at Mayday's reaction like an asshole, then raises his hand to grab that flailing hand.

"You know, some cybermice might mistake you for kin at this rate."

[scaredybot]

It is Good Enough Flirting for Mayday. It really, really is. It helps that he hasn't really been on any sort date since that time his ship's programmer showed up with a couple cans of oil and an offer to celebrate. He prefers not to think about that 'date'. It was really embarrassing.

He can't help but squeak again when Pipes grabs his hand - oh gosh they are holding hands - which prompts him to pout extremely huffily at Pipes's cybermouse comment.

"They will- they will not!" he... squeaks. Curse his voice and its high-pitched inclinations. He ducks his head. "...Is that bad?"

[planate]

"I don't think so. They're pretty cute."

FUCKING SUAVE AS SHIT, WOW.

[scaredybot]

"Yes, well!" Mayday glances around, refusing to look directly at Pipes. "I think- I, um. I think. You. I think... you're... pretty cute?"

Is he doing this right is this flirting oh sweet Allspark what is he doing.

[planate]

This is the weeniest date. They're going to create a weenie singularity with how awful they are at everything. Who allowed this.

Pipes laughs, then gestures to the cup.

"Clean enough?"

[scaredybot]

Well at least they'll be in good company if they collapse into a single point of pure weenieness.

"Mmhm," he says with a nod, casting shy glances at Pipes.

[planate]

"Pass it over, then."

Good god.

[scaredybot]

"Oh! Right!"

Shoving the glass at Pipes, Mayday continues to fidget adorably, because apparently he's a grade-schooler on a date.

[planate]

And he FILLS IT UP LIKE A CHAMP. Not perfectly, he's never actually poured before, but.

"Here. I've no idea what it'll taste like."

He ducks behind the bar for a second, before popping back up. "D'you want a silly straw?"

[scaredybot]

Mayday thinks about that for a moment then shakes his head. Straws are too hard to clean, especially swirly ones.

He does take his drink with a little 'thank you', though, and peers curiously into its depths. He's never really... Been to a bar or gone drinking though.

Shrugging, he takes a big swallow like he would plain oil and promptly breaks into a wheezing fit.

[planate]

Honestly, the only reason something like this hasn't happened to Pipes is that he hadn't had a drink yet.

Which, he fixed. By taking a just when Mayday broke out into wheezes. The noise surprised him and he inhaled a bit to quickly.

Now they're both having a coughing fit. Amazing.

[scaredybot]

"This is-" Mayday manages to cough out between wheezes. "That is some- um, wow. This sure is some... stuff."

He really is a teetotaler.

Reaching out, he tries to help Pipes my slapping him on the back. Only it's less 'slapping' and more 'softly patting'.

[planate]

"I think it just--" he thumps himself on the chest, "went down the wrong tube."

He braces himself on the counter for a moment, then finally stops.

"Primus."

[scaredybot]

"...Do you actually have more than one tube?" Mayday asks, voice slightly hoarse, peering at the little tube in Pipes' faceplate.

He only has one tube himself. The intake is in his chin and then it goes through several filters and down into his neck, bypassing his mouth. He has a Thing about his mouth.

None of that does anything to dull the burn of distilled engex, though.

[planate]

"I think so."

He probably has one main one that splits up. Robots, man.

"Intakes are a bit different for the ones with no mouths."

A Good Date Topic.

[scaredybot]

"Huh," Mayday says. "I guess that makes sense. Maybe?"

He is seriously so not a cyberbiologist.

Taking another - much, much smaller - sip of his drink, he makes a face. "Is it supposed to burn?"

Some of the good disinfectants burn, but those usually go on the outside.

[planate]

He shrugs, then looks worried for a brief moment. He pushes it away so as not to alarm Mayday.

"Burn?"

Burn?????

[scaredybot]

"Um, not like... Not like fire burning or anything. It's kind of, like, POW!" Mayday thrusts his empty fist into the air. "And then it's like, uh... Like when you use paint stripper? But inside. And then it goes away and my tanks feel warm."

[planate]

"That sounds about right."

Not that Pipes is a super expert on high grade, or anything. He inspects his own glass. "Might not want to have too much, though. I'm not carrying you home again!"

A beat.

"No, I would."

[scaredybot]

Mayday flushes at the reminder of his graceful fall, and hides his embarrassment in another swig of engex - which makes him wheeze a little again. It's a good thing they didn't try anything stronger.

"You didn't carry me home the other time."

[planate]

"I can still carry you, though!"

He flexes his noodle arms. LOOK AT THEM HE'S SO BARA

[scaredybot]

"That's true," Mayday says, ducking his head and smiling. Pipes is such an adorable person. "It was really super nice of you."

[planate]

"I wasn't just gonna leave you there! You fainted! Because of me!"

Did he even apologise for that he can't remember

[scaredybot]

"Well, I mean-" It's true, it totally was Pipes's fault. "It was still nice. You didn't have to."

Finger-twiddling around his glass intensifies!

[planate]

"Are you kidding? I totally did. You're lighter than you look!"

SO SKINNY.

[scaredybot]

"Bike frames are usually pretty light," Mayday mumbles. Then he smiles up at Pipes. "Well, I'm- I'm glad you did. I'm glad we met."

[planate]

"I've never known a bike before," he says, "Not intimately, anyway."

Oh my god.

[scaredybot]

Mayday's face heats up so fast that he's kind of surprised his wiring doesn't catch on fire.

He takes a quick swig of his drink, covering his need to think up a response with gentle wheezing.

[planate]

How Pipes hasn't destroyed this entire bar with his SWAG, he'll never know.

He laughs gently at the wheezing, patting Mayday's back again.

"Too soon?"

[scaredybot]

Clearly he's just that good.

Lucky for him, Mayday's totally into it. Or is at least totally into Pipes enough that he doesn't mind.

"N-no, I, um, mmm, nnyh, uh, just, well-" Mayday pauses for a moment to flail his hands. "Words??"