VIDEO | Few days prior to prom

[orerrible]

[ Who doesn't love a massive yellow eye peering into the screen as though at any minute you would expect it to be followed by a harsh static beep and a pre-recorded message from your chipper dystopian spokeswoman. Shockwave lost his flare for camera angles so it's just him glowering (if that's a thing) into the feed at a severe angle with what appears to be a lab behind him. ]

It has been something of a long weekend side project, but humans in the habitable areas within the city should take note that there are now small mechanoids similar in appearance to Insecticons but with a vastly different purpose within the city. There are antiquated, single minded drones I've created for one simple task: Retrofitting human inhabited areas with basic amenities. Indoor plumbing along with access to treated water and rooms with temperature control, for one. The planet itself was hasty to say the least in bringing you all here as this is not an environment suited to even your most fundamental needs. Allow the drones to do their work as it also expedites more long term objectives such as energon transport and establishing a stable infrastructure.

[ Among other things you get showers and shitters now, fleshbags. You're welcome. ]

That said I would like to take the time to be transparent with any Cybertronian listening in: Expunge from your hardware any ingrained anti-organic sentiment now while you're ahead. I am not speaking out of the goodness of my spark but from the most simplest of truths. The planet itself demands this change and I will not entertain disruption to this nascent planet. A significant number of these humans are not baseline and share my intolerance for the unnecessary.

That will be all.

Comments

[video]

[smarterthandad]

Yeah, and?

[What's your point, giant purple robot man.]

[video]

[orerrible]

I'm waiting to hear if this served a purpose.

[ Which is an insulated way for someone like Shockwave asking if there was an oversight with its design. ]

[video]

[smarterthandad]

Well, I know how you design sub-sentient AIs now.

...You, specifically. I already know how to program an AI.

[Nah bro you're good.]

[orerrible]

I see.

[ Super learner super learner super learner super learner. ]

Little more than a diluted design compared to its predecessors, but not without cause.

[ The last thing they needed were Insecticons. ]

[smarterthandad]

[Not exactly but close enough.]

I have contingency plans for a Von Neumann cascade, if it comes to that.

[By which Val means "self-replicating robots getting out of hand." She comes from a world with Hank Pym, after all.]

[orerrible]

You must have found the obsolescence chip. Ethically tremulous but it has proven effective.

[ Which really even a moral gradient of drab grey is an improvement with Shockwave. ]

[smarterthandad]

Offlining an AI not intended to become self-aware before it hits breakthrough is only responsible, plus it saves a lot of trouble. Emergent AI is fun but I really have too much on my plate right now to babysit.

[Val you are three.]

[orerrible]

While I'm willing to indulge the bleeding hearts, we lack the facilities to encourage emergence we haven't anticipated. Too many unknowns operating on dangerously optimistic expectations.

[smarterthandad]

[Bored now, but the pragmatism is noted.]

Yeah, anyway, I'll hook up to your grid but I'm gonna do my own internal work. There are some lines in here that would be bad to cut into.

[orerrible]

[ How dare- ]

I hesitant to call that presumptuous until I've seen your attempt.

[smarterthandad]

[Excuse you, she's Valeria Richards.]

If you want a tour you could just ask.

[orerrible]

I would be a fool not to.

[ brb forging the custody papers. ]

[smarterthandad]

Sure, come on by.

[If he can't figure out where she's broadcasting from without being told, he doesn't deserve a tour.]