robothell | VIDEO | Few days prior to prom

[ Who doesn't love a massive yellow eye peering into the screen as though at any minute you would expect it to be followed by a harsh static beep and a pre-recorded message from your chipper dystopian spokeswoman. Shockwave lost his flare for camera angles so it's just him glowering (if that's a thing) into the feed at a severe angle with what appears to be a lab behind him. ]

It has been something of a long weekend side project, but humans in the habitable areas within the city should take note that there are now small mechanoids similar in appearance to Insecticons but with a vastly different purpose within the city. There are antiquated, single minded drones I've created for one simple task: Retrofitting human inhabited areas with basic amenities. Indoor plumbing along with access to treated water and rooms with temperature control, for one. The planet itself was hasty to say the least in bringing you all here as this is not an environment suited to even your most fundamental needs. Allow the drones to do their work as it also expedites more long term objectives such as energon transport and establishing a stable infrastructure.

[ Among other things you get showers and shitters now, fleshbags. You're welcome. ]

That said I would like to take the time to be transparent with any Cybertronian listening in: Expunge from your hardware any ingrained anti-organic sentiment now while you're ahead. I am not speaking out of the goodness of my spark but from the most simplest of truths. The planet itself demands this change and I will not entertain disruption to this nascent planet. A significant number of these humans are not baseline and share my intolerance for the unnecessary.

That will be all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's uh.

Nice of you.

[WOW SMOOTH.]

Roller.

[ That flat lack of inflection that just screams. Oh, this again. ]

[Look, he's trying to be civil and make chit-chat here.]

Yeah, hi.

So uhhh... humans. You're a fan?

[Oh my god Roller stop.]

[ In attempt to circumvent a guilt trip - this sure is the express lane into a guilt trip. ]

I merely don't undermine their significance. You're...well before they factored in but I will spare you the details.

[ Shockwave you threatened to destroy Earth out of spite, but hey - we all change. ]

Neither do I wish to see Cybertron's evolutionary change die in its infancy. Additionally, I've never seen this diverse of genetic pool. Not all of them would be considered 'baseline' they're...

[ Outliers. ]

[CHOO CHOO CHOO HERE COMES THE GUILT TRAIN EXPRESS.]

How significant are we talking?

[Hey, he's curious, what can he say?]

Having humans here is... evolution? I thought it just turned up this way. [Pause.] They're 'weirdos', you mean.

[Stop calling them that, you big idiot.]

Global. Perhaps even beyond that as the Cybertron itself shows evidence of rapid change to support new life - evolutionary markers that otherwise would have taken eons to take hold that...

[ Wait. Wait. ]