i cant think of a funny title

[planate]

Who: pipes and......you????
What: bang the minibot. cuddle him. slowly press a pie into his face. whatever
When: during the fuckening. the bangarang. the dingle dangle dongle
Where: AROUND
Warnings: hahahahahahhahahahahah



a.

Pipes knows the deal. He knows what the pollen has done to him and that he doesn't need to go to the medibay. He wants to handle this like an adult, but he has a big problem.

He is a really, really shitty adult.

He'll be around, wherever anyone wants to run into him. Adorable, horny minibots go where they are needed.

b.

Well, this was awkward. Despite his... efforts, Pipes had been unable to get rid of The Feeling.

Honestly, it was getting to the point where he was outright annoyed with the situation - he just wanted to carry on as normal after going a few rounds with both himself and perhaps some other people.

It didn't work. Nothing had worked. Pipes comes to a stop from his near constant driving and transforms, stumbling into a wall. He's quiet for a moment, then punches it in frustration.

...


"Ow! Frag it! Ow!"

c. closed to mayday

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Pipes wants to get laid with someone he cares about. More than average, at least.

He'd made a beeline for Mayday's ship-house and called up the lift shaft a few times.

Heh. Shaft.

Comments

B!

[triggerhappycopter]

There's a stir of air moving and the vague, ominous sensation of something or someone having been summoned.

If Pipes looks behind him, he will find that he suddenly has a very big and very deathly pink heli-former behind him with an equally ominous, scowling Decepticon badge.

Re: B!

[planate]

It would be hard to miss something of Spinister's size landing behind him. Pipes whips around, reading to yell at whoever it was for scaring him.

"Hey, what are you---"

And then he sees the giant pink, scowling Decepticon badge.

"OH MY GOD!"

This day just got worse, and potentially weird. Er.

[triggerhappycopter]

Very, very calmly, Spinister leans down and reaches out...

To take Pipe's hand before the little mech did something silly like trying to get out of reach.

After a moment of turning the tiny hand over in his Spinister takes out a small blowtorch and declares, "You shouldn't punch walls. They're not very squishy."

[planate]

He's a little hesitant, but allows Spinister to take his hand. Resisting doesn't seem like a good option.

Is... is he fixing his hand? What is going on.

"There was something squishy there. It flew away before I could get it."

Bad jokes. He's making diabolical jokes because he's a little scared.

b

[knightlite]

Wing pokes his head out of the building Pipes just punched, his expression startled but not alarmed.

"...hello? Are you all right?"

[triggerhappycopter]

Honestly, it's rather surprising there was no freaking out when the blowtorch was brought out. Spin's killed people with that, you know.

Fortunately for Pipes, he just holds it a good distance away before turning it on and gently heating up the dented metal.

"That's what guns are for," Spin mutters distractedly. Unfortunately, he is not too good with the jokes.

Re: b

[planate]

Oh, dear. Someone was in there.

"Yes! I'm fine! It's fine! Did I wake you up?"

Impressive, seeing as Cybertronian buildings are pretty thick and sturdy.

[planate]

Well, the blowtorch isn't near his face. That's a good sign, not burning his optics out.

"I, ah." Forgot he had them. "Ran out of ammo."

Okay, that's something even worse to admit. Pipes keeps his hand very still, interested to see where this is gonna go.

[knightlite]

"No, not at all! I was just meditating. There's... something odd going on, I think."

Wing eyes Pipes, still looking a little worried.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

[triggerhappycopter]

"Thought the Bots'd phased out most forms of ammo from their standard stuff?"

Once the metal was sufficiently heated, the surgeon takes out a tiny crowbar-like thing, wedges it under Pipe's gauntlet armor and delicately pops the dent out. He gives the hand one last look-over, gently smoothing his thumb over the plating to feel for any uneveness...

Before returning it to Pipes and straightening up.

"You should probably go to the clinic," he adds, turning to leave. "Your temp readings are kinda high."

[planate]

"I, ah. Didn't upgrade to that. I guess."

Spinister is really big, wow. Pipes watches him work, fear dropping off almost immediately when he realises Spinister isn't going to hurt him.

"Yeah. There's-- something. Going around. You don't have it? Thanks. For that, by the way. Really appreciate it."

[planate]

Putting a hand on his head, he sighs.

"You can say that again."

He looks down at his hand, before wiggling the fingers at Wing.

"It's barely dented. I think I pulled back at the last second."

[triggerhappycopter]

"No problem-" Waiiiit a second.

"What?" Spinister screeches to a halt and thing whips around so quickly, the air whistles, flipping out a medical scanner and stomping back over.

"Got what? What's going around? Are you sick? What are your symptoms? Do you need to be quarantined?"

[planate]

"Oh, uh. It's nothing! Really. Just. High temp because I was driving around a lot. I had a lot of energy! Too much! Is having too much energy a thing? I feel like I need to benchpress something! Maybe a rock. I don't know."

He's not gonna move, still of the opinion that letting Spinister do his thing is better than trying to run and getting shot.

[knightlite]

"Here--let me see."

Wing is already moving, taking Pipes' hand, his fingers sliding over the scored surface of Pipes' knuckles. His hands are a little too warm, his cooling fans running to dump hot air out of his chassis, but he doesn't appear outwardly affected.

[triggerhappycopter]

Well, where the patient lies, the scanner tells the truth. Spinister finishes scanning long before Pipes finishes talking and then scowls as he reads through the results.

"Mostly," he says at last, face brightening and tone turning cheerful. "It just looks like you should have a lot of sex with someone!"

And after a moment, he adds, "That's probably safer than bench pressing a rock. Unless you've got a spotter."

[planate]

Pipes was going to hold his hand out but-- oop there's Wing already looking. That's fine. He rather likes the feeling of Wing's fingers sliding over the back of his hand, even if it's quite possibly the most simple touch conceivable.

Regardless, it's hard to not notice the heat - it's obvious Wing is affected as well.

"Uh. T-thanks."

Smooth.

[planate]

Pipes has no mouth. He still manages to make a sound like he'd be spraying his drink out his mouth.

If he had a drink. Or a mouth.

"I--!"

How does he even respond to this. The worst part is, he knows Spinister is right. He just didn't expect to hear it outright. Which is a bit silly, seeing as this guy is apparently a medic.

"...Well. I suppose that is what I need to do. Unless you're willing to spot me."

[knightlite]

Wing squeezes lightly and smiles, his optics lighting a little before he lets go.

"I didn't even do anything," he says, a warm laugh shivering in his voice.

[triggerhappycopter]

Spin watches Pipes make that bizarre mouthless drink spitting noise with all the serenity of a mech who doesn't entire get what was happening but has been through this many times.

"What, for the rock lifting or the sex?" Spin blinks. "I mean, I can do both, no problem."

[planate]

He looks around.

"I don't see any boulders I could lift..."

Oh, god, he sounds so obvious and desperate.

"Are you sure that that's the only way? I mean. No offence. I just. It seems a little drastic."

Pipes. You have already banged someone.

[planate]

"Ah... hah. That's right..."

He puts a hand on his neck awkwardly.

"I guess I mean caring enough to check in the first place?"

[triggerhappycopter]

"Well! There's lots of healthy ways to get rid of excessive sexual energy," Spinister agrees. Also, he didn't realize that Pipes had actually been serious about this sex thing being a bit of an epidemic. "The Decepticon guidebook for interpersonal interactions lists 'masturbation with or without the aid of sex toys, push ups, sparring, driving or flying or boating depending on your alt mode, target practice, political discussions...'"

Pipes, you should probably stop him. This particular section of the guidebook was a good eighty pages.

[planate]

A hand goes to his visor. Part of him is wondering why this is happening, the other half is trying to visualise Megatron saying 'sex toys'. Neither is appealing.

"--Is it specifically sexual energy?" he asks, cutting in. He can tell it is, because it's pretty hard to mistake arousal for anything else, but man. Pipes really doesn't want to have to deal with it. He's never really been interested in any of this before, and loathes that it's started now.

"Can't I just go back to driving really fast? You could..." he can't tell what Spinister's altmode is from looking, so he's makes a vague 'eeh' sound. "with me! It's okay according to that guide book thing!"

[knightlite]

"Oh."

Wing tilts his head a little, still smiling.

"In that case, any time."