[network post--marked urgent]

[asafepairofhands]

Hello? Yeah, all right, it looks like this thing is on.

[The vid flickers on and Ratchet's face fills it, somehow more exasperated and peeved than usual.]

Look, public service health announcement, stay away from the damn stupid flowers that are popping up everywhere. They're releasing a pollen that's hyperconductive that causes an allergic reaction in both organics and inorganics. Nobody's going to drop dead, unless you're set on being a medical miracle and being the first to die of overcharge, but if you're affected, for goodness' sake, be careful until it wears itself out. If you don't release the pent-up charge or whatever periodically it's possible you'll overheat.

If you absolutely need medical assistance, I'm going to be at the first medibay trying to figure out more precisely what the fresh smelting hell is going on.

Ratchet out.

Comments

audio;

[arnhaid]

... So uh.




This mean you gotta. Check me out?

[HA HA HA ISN'T HE FUNNY. Also he's like literally outside the medbay to check on you buddy. Especially after uh. Running into Optimus.]

[lifepersists]

I think the warning might be a bit too late, Ratchet. I've already seen people filter in for overheating issues. Nothing... ah, life threatening, though.

We should be working on damage control now. Have you already gathered samples? [ You know, of the flowers, active energon. Lubricant and transfluid would maybe be a no brainer too. ]

[asafepairofhands]

No, it means the exact opposite of that, you're going to be completely fine.

[...]

...but if you'd like to drop by, you're welcome to do so.

[asafepairofhands]

Yeah, tell me about it, but I had to put up something.

I have samples from myself and a few others, all the standard stuff. I've been contaminated too.

[arnhaid]

Oh.

In uh. That case. Knock knock?

[He says as he just up and knocks on the door. What a dork.]

video

[peridont]

Have you idiots even considered reversing and increasing your vent flow to stop the pollen from getting into your systems?

[GREAT HELP, PERIDOT. THANKS.]

video

[asafepairofhands]

Oh yeah, sure, we'll all do that, so we can all drop fragging dead after our circuitry and then our brains boil! Great idea! It's magnetic on top of being hyperconductive, there's no way to prevent contamination besides locking yourself in a sterilized anti-static quarantine chamber which, oh! We don't happen to have lying around for some reason!

Who the hell are you?

[asafepairofhands]

[He jumps and stares up at the door, then tries not to look entertained.]

C'mon in, then.

[arnhaid]

[Ironhide just sort of rolls in. Or tries to. He tries very hard to look all composed and everything.]

Aren't you supposed to be like 'who's there'? And then I get to make a really bad joke?

[Normally, he'd have given his friend a little more personal space. But now he parks himself right up next to the medic, their shoulders brushing.]

[asafepairofhands]

I know that knock anywhere.

[Ratchet shifts his grip on his crutches and leans in against Ironhide's side, shivering a little all over.]

So you too, huh? ...you holding up all right?

[lifepersists]

I suppose spreading awareness of the cause can't hurt. I'll see what I can gather. It seems to cloud higher thinking and judgement when around others. [ It makes you unbearably horny. Those are the words he is looking for. ]

You doing okay? [ Haha, gosh, he has to take that knowledge in stride. ]

Re: video

[peridont]

[she is completely unaffected by the anger. mostly because she can hide behind the fact she's not right in front of him, but.]

Well, that was rather short sighted, don't you think? I suppose you don't have an abundance of electromagnets around, either.

[the sarcasm is palpable. but seriously, she hadn't known it was magnetic before. good to know!]

Do you Wheeljacks genuinely not have filters in those questionably useful vents?

LOCKING THIS

[asafepairofhands]

I just didn't want us to be flooded with panicked idiots who think they're dropping dead because they can't find somebody to swap paint with.

[He cycles his vents shakily.]

Yeah, I'm... all right. About as well as 'mortified,' 'furiously angry,' and 'all right' go together, anyway. I'm not in any danger. It's just distracting.

[arnhaid]

Oh yeah? I'm all flattered.

[Oh. That uh. That contact. It sends what feels like electric shocks all the way down his frame. His hand moves, trailing slightly along Ratchet's arm.]

Yup. Me and Prime. [A shrug.] Dunno. Kinda feelin' a little off...

[His head tilts, to speak low and slow into the side of Ratchet's head, near his audio.]

... maybe need your prescription.

[IRONHIDE THAT WAS HORRIBLE.]

[asafepairofhands]

What? I'm not Wheeljack, and anyway, of fragging course we do! This planet has a whole set of indigenous hybrid mechanical and organic flora and fauna that we've literally never seen before, and we don't have the tools or supplies for across-the-board upgrades because if you haven't noticed we're living in a bombed-out wasteland.

Frankly, I don't care who you are--are you going to say anything useful or are you going to continue to waste my limited and valuable time?

[asafepairofhands]

My 'prescription' is going to be a wrench to your head in a minute if you don't knock that off.

[Ratchet's voice is a growl, but he shudders when Ironhide touches him more deliberately, too-warm air hitching in his vents.]

You're either here as my patient or not--I'm not mixing the two up.

private and with a STERN BUSINESS FACE

[aminerproblem]

I've gathered samples of the flowers and left them in the Medibay. They're labeled in inventory.

The symptoms I've had are mild so far, so I can still work if you need me. Not sure if this can be transmitted from bot to bot, though.

such private

[lifepersists]

Instead they'll just come here to get a medical hand. [ So wry. ] I hope you're not going to turn the medibay into a bordello, Ratchet.

[ Ratchet should know First Aid's humor by now to know he's teasing. ]

Distracting is one way to put it. Consent issues and loss of productivity aside, it's not too bad, is it? People have been looking for years for an affective aphrodisiac and Cybertron just drops one on us. I can't hazard a guess why though.

[arnhaid]

Hey, if that's your thing.

[He chuckles, though, genuinely amused by his own stupidity, despite the sex pollen problem.]

[There's a quiet huff though, when Ratchet doesn't pull away, stroking his hand, bending his head lower, to let hot air wash over the other bot's neck.]

If that's what the doc is orderin'... then I want it. [He hesitates a beat. Then, in a more sincere, almost uncertain voice:] I... kinda wanted it for a long time. Y'know?

[peridont]

...I suppose asking for a more astute info-dump would be out of the question at this point. [she mutters.

yes, peridot, this is what happens when you are a shitty infant to people you've never met before.]

Never seen bef-- [god what the fuck is going on] No. I believe you've shrieked everything you need to.

...

Wheeljack.

[asafepairofhands]

[Ratchet looks briefly startled, his optics jerking up to Ironhide's before he turns his head, lips brushing the side of Ironhide's helm.]

Ironhide...

[Heat rakes through him again in a helpless full-body shiver, plating rattling together before he draws back.]

Not here. C'mon. [He takes a hard grip on his crutches and pulls away with an effort to lead Ironhide through a door through the supply closet of into a small room crammed with a berth, some extra supplies, and a few personal items. Has he been living here? Probably.]

[He sits down on the edge of the berth and rests his crutches against a stack of boxes, looking up at Ironhide.]

No fancy accommodations, but... this'll work, I trust? [He reaches a hand out.] ...c'mere?

[asafepairofhands]

[Ratchet scoffs.] I'm not planning on it!

[Doesn't mean it won't happen.]

No, at least nobody's in any real danger. If it really is an allergy, though, there's always the possibility, so I'm keeping an optic out as much as I can.

...how are you holding up?

text

[system_dp]

This Unit would say that medical assistance does not provide much lasting relief.

[It's text because she is in no state of using words, dang pollen.]

[ashandrust]

[Hermit he may be, but he can still access the network. Simply because he doesn't want to be involved in the goings-on of others doesn't mean he wants to wander blindly into situations he could avoid if he maintained awareness.]

I will send what findings I have already gathered.

[Yes, of course he has been studying this odd bloom. He wants to know this Cybertron as he once knew his.]

And updates as they come.

[lifepersists]

I'm infected. It's... frustrating. I've been debating marking the infected as per standard epidemiology procedure until I'm certain that it can't be passed person to person, but... you might know how it goes when you get close enough to touch.

[ To be honest, he never thought he'd talk about his interfacing life with Ratchet. It was much easier to speak about it clinically. ]

The charge doesn't stay gone long and it can make it difficult to stay fueled and sleep. Friend to friend, I'm... here, if you need it. Doctors have to stick together.