robothell | [Network] Oh Deer

Trapped where?

[pipes makes an effort to not sound too worried.]

What are "they"?

In my ship! I'm- I'm surrounded.

And they're things. Little hoppy prancy things with- with heads and legs and eugh! AND THEY KEEP LOOKING AT ME.

[Probably because a certain someone above them keeps screaming.]

Calm down, deep vents. They won't be able to get up to your ship. You're probably attracting them with yelling.

[he taps his chin.]

...How big are they? If they're what I think they are, I don't think you have much to worry about.

They're big enough! [You can practically hear the flailing.] And they're on my elevator, I have everything to worry about!

[Sending the elevator down to scare off The Things had seemed like a good idea at the time. But then one hopped in and settled down for a nap. It was terrible.]

... They're, um, bigger than a human?

I doubt they can operate it.

[he'll come see what's happening, anyway.]

That's not too bad. What are they doing?

Yes, but they're on it! That means it can't come up and I can't come down!

[So much whine]

They're... they're... milling about.

[Truly terrifying.]

I'll come see if I can get them to leave.

[he's getting the impression they're not that dangerous.]

Not destroying anything?

Please make them leave!

But be careful! I bet they're just biding their time. Waiting for me to come down, so they can- so they can suck out spark or something!

[This is incredibly likely. So very incredibly likely. Really.]

[luckily, he wasn't too far away and most of the deer scatter when he drives up. not like pipes was trying to hit them, anyway. he transforms and looks around, before calling up to the ship.]

Hey, you still surviving up there?

[that shout also makes a few more of them run off. aww they're CUTE]

[Pipes, no! They are not cute! They are terrifying!]

Yes!

[Mayday is peering down through the elevator's hole in the ship's floor.

Oh sure, they run away for other people!]

[he waves up at the hole then goes over the to lift and scoops up the one that had jumped in.]

They're not that bad, you know.

[Indignant screeching!]

You're touching it! You don't know where that's been!

[He doesn't trust that adorable well-designed face, not for one second!]

I'm sure it's fi--

[pipes is going to be an enormous asshole and pretend to pass out. he crouches down slightly and lets the deer run off before clutching his throat, going stiff and falling on his back.

it's not the best acting but hey whatever.]

[What. What just happened-!?]

AH!

[Mayday grips the sides of his helmet]

AHHHH!

[Oh no, Pipes is dying from deer what does he do does he help but what if he dies he doesn't want to die but he doesn't want to die oh sweet Allspark what if he's dead already-

He feels kind of light-headed.]

Ah?

[In a fantastic show of heroism, Mayday faints, falling headfirst out of the elevator hole.]

[huh.

well, that wasn't the reaction he was expecting. he doesn't get up quick enough to try and catch mayday - which would be a terrible idea anyway - and can only really watch him wham into the ground. boy, pipes sure does feel like a douche. it wasn't a LARGE drop, but he DID land awkwardly. fuck. god damn it. IMPULSIVE, BAD.

he skitters over to mayday, rolling him onto his back and making sure there's no really big obvious damages. hoo boy, does pipes regret.]

[Hitting the ground is a remarkably good wake-up call. What with the THUD and the pain. It's really a good thing he's a giant metal robot, even if he is a particularly scrawny one.

He stares up dazedly at Pipes as he rolls him over.]

Ow.

[Then his optics almost cross as they focus on something else. Something... terrifying.

There's a crack in the clear face-shield of his helmet.

His mouth slowly drops open in horror.]

Oh, I...

[damn, dude. that visor is so damn clean it looks like the crack is just floating there.]

Didn't even realise you had a visor. Ah-hah...

[He sits up suddenly, grabbing Pipes's shoulders.]

It's no longer air-tight. Do you know what- do you... do... whoa-

[Looking extremely dizzy, Mayday drops back onto his back.]

Oof, my gyroscopes.

Ah, I think you'll be fine...

[he rubs the back of his head awkwardly.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to get you hurt... have you run a diagnostic scan?

[Cue the most pathetic whimpering and whining you ever did hear.]

You did that on purpose?? I thought that thing like... infected you with instantaneous processor rot! Or- or sucked out your spark or-

[Wow, just thinking of all the things that could have potentially gone wrong makes him shudder.]

Um. Some of my insides are out of alignment.

[His poor, tender insides.]

[he taps his index fingers together awkwardly.]

Y-yeah, I was just... kidding around...

[he looks away awkwardly.]

Why would you kid about that?! Death isn't funny, it's terrifying!

[Saddest look, Pipes! Saddest look. Feel the shaaaame.]

... Th-thanks for getting rid of the creatures, though.

[MUST NOT ALIENATE NEW FRIEND.]

I just pretended to faint and then you... actually did...

[he trails off a bit.]

It's okay, I just think. Uh. You might. Have to go to the medibay...

Ehehe... Yeah I... That, um. That happens to me sometimes.

[It's kind of super-embarrassing, why is he such a weenie.]

...M-medibay? [His voice is a squeak.]

M-m-m-muh- M-maybe we can just-! Get. Get a medic. To- to come here instead?

[Don't make him go there, there's injured people there!]

Hey, it's okay!

[he gives mayday's hand a gentle squeeze.] I was there recently, there's not many bots laid up and they just cleaned the place!

[okay that's a little fib but]

I'll go with you, you can have your optics off the entire time.

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