[Text]

[tenbackpockets]

[Guess who's been keeping out of whatever's been going on here? This guy! Naturally he'd like to keep doing that, but there's a thing or two that needs to be addressed. Not the kidnapping, he's been around enough to know that no one has answers to that.]

Hey, my name's Robert Epps, formerly NEST (Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty), and I'm one of the human visitors on your "glorious" homeworld. Now that we've got introductions outta the way, I've got one request for all you Cybertronians:

Please be careful 'round our water! You Cybertronians ain't using it, and we humans sort of need it to survive. I can't remember the last time it rained, so our resources totally aren't limitless. Wish we had some water purification going, because I don't think it'll mean anything good if there was some kinda energon contamination.

To my fellow humans: This world is bigger than us and I think we should stick together. I don't think we're doing ourselves any good by running around and doing our own thing. Besides, I haven't talked to another human in a while, and that's getting a little depressing.

Also you aliens should think up some more emotes, because these are the stupidest goddamn things I've seen in a while.

[He refuses to use them.]

Comments

[text]

[smarterthandad]

It's okay, I'm already running water purification. Come by my lab whenever.

About the emotes: Whenever one of us hacks in and changes them, Brainstorm just puts them back the next time he logs in. It's not worth the effort.

[text]

[tenbackpockets]

That's something at least. Good to know that we're not going to die that way.

Who the hell is Brainstorm?

[text]

[smarterthandad]

The Autobots' premier weapons designer and also the one who did most of the programming to get the network up and running. Emotional maturity of a middle schooler and ego that blocks out the sun.

[Hi Brainstorm she knows you're reading this.]

[text]

[tenbackpockets]

"Emotional maturity of a middle schooler" you mean all Cybertronians, right? I've had experience with babysitting the worst of them.

Still, better a network with stupid emotes than no network at all.

[text]

[smarterthandad]

Yeah, basically. Can't imagine why their war went 4 million years.

[Val you hang out with Megatron, Prowl, and Tarn, you can't talk.]

[text]

[tenbackpockets]

I always figured it was because they were hard to kill. I've seen them be bashed almost completely to pieces and they just kept going.

I have to admire them for that.

[text]

[smarterthandad]

They're not that hard to kill. You just have to approach the problem properly, without preconceptions based on Earth life.

[Text does not convey her creepy smile, but she's totally smiling creepily.]

[text]

[tenbackpockets]

Trust me, I know.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Autobots a lot. They're a good bunch and quite a few of them are my friends.

Well, I mean from my world. I don't know much about the ones raising a fuss around here.

[text]

[smarterthandad]

Personality-wise, they're just scaled-up humans who turn into cars and the occasional plane or submarine.