robothell | [Text]

[Guess who's been keeping out of whatever's been going on here? This guy! Naturally he'd like to keep doing that, but there's a thing or two that needs to be addressed. Not the kidnapping, he's been around enough to know that no one has answers to that.]

Hey, my name's Robert Epps, formerly NEST (Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty), and I'm one of the human visitors on your "glorious" homeworld. Now that we've got introductions outta the way, I've got one request for all you Cybertronians:

Please be careful 'round our water! You Cybertronians ain't using it, and we humans sort of need it to survive. I can't remember the last time it rained, so our resources totally aren't limitless. Wish we had some water purification going, because I don't think it'll mean anything good if there was some kinda energon contamination.

To my fellow humans: This world is bigger than us and I think we should stick together. I don't think we're doing ourselves any good by running around and doing our own thing. Besides, I haven't talked to another human in a while, and that's getting a little depressing.

Also you aliens should think up some more emotes, because these are the stupidest goddamn things I've seen in a while.

[He refuses to use them.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's okay, I'm already running water purification. Come by my lab whenever.

About the emotes: Whenever one of us hacks in and changes them, Brainstorm just puts them back the next time he logs in. It's not worth the effort.

That's something at least. Good to know that we're not going to die that way.

Who the hell is Brainstorm?

The Autobots' premier weapons designer and also the one who did most of the programming to get the network up and running. Emotional maturity of a middle schooler and ego that blocks out the sun.

[Hi Brainstorm she knows you're reading this.]

"Emotional maturity of a middle schooler" you mean all Cybertronians, right? I've had experience with babysitting the worst of them.

Still, better a network with stupid emotes than no network at all.

Yeah, basically. Can't imagine why their war went 4 million years.

[Val you hang out with Megatron, Prowl, and Tarn, you can't talk.]

I always figured it was because they were hard to kill. I've seen them be bashed almost completely to pieces and they just kept going.

I have to admire them for that.

They're not that hard to kill. You just have to approach the problem properly, without preconceptions based on Earth life.

[Text does not convey her creepy smile, but she's totally smiling creepily.]

Trust me, I know.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Autobots a lot. They're a good bunch and quite a few of them are my friends.

Well, I mean from my world. I don't know much about the ones raising a fuss around here.

Personality-wise, they're just scaled-up humans who turn into cars and the occasional plane or submarine.

Epps. This is Miranda Lawson of the Systems Alliance. This channel is now secure.

You're currently one of a small handful of humans I've managed to do a headcount for on the planet; all of them civilians and two of them minors. So I need you to listen to me.

[Jeez lady you sound like you mean business.

Epps knows the sound of someone taking command and instantly responds.]

Ma'am? I'm listening.

[ Zero chill. ]

We're flying blind but as it stands water contamination is not the pressing issue. From what I can tell the native population is more concerned with taking their political squabbles to the next step over mucking the water supply.

You mentioned you were with an outfit concerned 'Non-biological extraterrestrial species'?

That hardly seems coincidence.

Better to make sure that it's not an issue now than wait and have it be an issue later. Most of them don't hate us, so if our water gets contaminated, it'll be because of carelessness. Figured I should give them a quick reminder.

[Technically NEST is a secret organization but Epps doesn't give any fucks anymore.]

Guess you could call us professional Decepticon hunters. In our world Autobots and humans work together to bring them down without the rest of the population knowing about them. That's impossible to do now, but it was a thing a while ago.

So I'm very familiar with Cybertronians and how they work.

[And how to kill them.]

You gonna explain 'emotes'?

[IRONHIDE, THAT'S WHAT YOU TAKE FROM THIS?]

Seriously?

First thing that's jumpin' out at me.

Didn't think I needed to say anythin' about not going near the water. 'Cept maybe "okay".

[He'll take it.]

So you haven't noticed the little robot faces you can use on the network?

It's the guy with the yellow face. That's what an emote is.

Nah, I don't use this thing much. Last I did, I was talkin' to Optimus. And you kinda don't use little yellow faces when you're talkin' to Prime.

[He's grinning though, because the idea is actually kind of funny.]

Whoa, you guys need that stuff? I thought the water was just pretty or something.

[Alright so you sound younger than most of the others he's seen around, so he'll give you a break.]

We'll die without it.

So I'd appreciate it a lot if you didn't get it dirty.

Oh, seriously?

Okay, consider it off limits. You guys are pretty okay. I really don't wanna contribute to... you know.

Killing you. That's beyond lame.

Plus, you know. Bee'd kill me.

If you're so concerned about your precious resource perhaps you should consider guarding it.

[Brainstorm smiling emote]

i can probs make a water purifier! :|a i've never made one b4 but it can't be 2 hard right?

also lol i've never heard of nest but my sis was ambassador 2 aliens. :) it's super far out yeah? lol

btw i'm skipper roberts! we halfway share names! :O we should totes hang out l8er y/y?

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