[Text]

[tenbackpockets]

[Guess who's been keeping out of whatever's been going on here? This guy! Naturally he'd like to keep doing that, but there's a thing or two that needs to be addressed. Not the kidnapping, he's been around enough to know that no one has answers to that.]

Hey, my name's Robert Epps, formerly NEST (Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty), and I'm one of the human visitors on your "glorious" homeworld. Now that we've got introductions outta the way, I've got one request for all you Cybertronians:

Please be careful 'round our water! You Cybertronians ain't using it, and we humans sort of need it to survive. I can't remember the last time it rained, so our resources totally aren't limitless. Wish we had some water purification going, because I don't think it'll mean anything good if there was some kinda energon contamination.

To my fellow humans: This world is bigger than us and I think we should stick together. I don't think we're doing ourselves any good by running around and doing our own thing. Besides, I haven't talked to another human in a while, and that's getting a little depressing.

Also you aliens should think up some more emotes, because these are the stupidest goddamn things I've seen in a while.

[He refuses to use them.]

Comments

audio : private

[ancillary]

Epps. This is Miranda Lawson of the Systems Alliance. This channel is now secure.

You're currently one of a small handful of humans I've managed to do a headcount for on the planet; all of them civilians and two of them minors. So I need you to listen to me.

audio : private

[tenbackpockets]

[Jeez lady you sound like you mean business.

Epps knows the sound of someone taking command and instantly responds.]

Ma'am? I'm listening.

audio : private

[ancillary]

[ Zero chill. ]

We're flying blind but as it stands water contamination is not the pressing issue. From what I can tell the native population is more concerned with taking their political squabbles to the next step over mucking the water supply.

You mentioned you were with an outfit concerned 'Non-biological extraterrestrial species'?

That hardly seems coincidence.

audio : private

[tenbackpockets]

Better to make sure that it's not an issue now than wait and have it be an issue later. Most of them don't hate us, so if our water gets contaminated, it'll be because of carelessness. Figured I should give them a quick reminder.

[Technically NEST is a secret organization but Epps doesn't give any fucks anymore.]

Guess you could call us professional Decepticon hunters. In our world Autobots and humans work together to bring them down without the rest of the population knowing about them. That's impossible to do now, but it was a thing a while ago.

So I'm very familiar with Cybertronians and how they work.

[And how to kill them.]