robothell | VIDEO | Few days prior to prom

[ Who doesn't love a massive yellow eye peering into the screen as though at any minute you would expect it to be followed by a harsh static beep and a pre-recorded message from your chipper dystopian spokeswoman. Shockwave lost his flare for camera angles so it's just him glowering (if that's a thing) into the feed at a severe angle with what appears to be a lab behind him. ]

It has been something of a long weekend side project, but humans in the habitable areas within the city should take note that there are now small mechanoids similar in appearance to Insecticons but with a vastly different purpose within the city. There are antiquated, single minded drones I've created for one simple task: Retrofitting human inhabited areas with basic amenities. Indoor plumbing along with access to treated water and rooms with temperature control, for one. The planet itself was hasty to say the least in bringing you all here as this is not an environment suited to even your most fundamental needs. Allow the drones to do their work as it also expedites more long term objectives such as energon transport and establishing a stable infrastructure.

[ Among other things you get showers and shitters now, fleshbags. You're welcome. ]

That said I would like to take the time to be transparent with any Cybertronian listening in: Expunge from your hardware any ingrained anti-organic sentiment now while you're ahead. I am not speaking out of the goodness of my spark but from the most simplest of truths. The planet itself demands this change and I will not entertain disruption to this nascent planet. A significant number of these humans are not baseline and share my intolerance for the unnecessary.

That will be all.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, they're yours? I took one apart when it started trying to break into my lab, sorry.

[She's not sorry.

Shockwave might be the only Cybertronian who'd be able to realize instantly that Val should not be able to use the network, much less have a lab.]

The drones are roughly three times your size and weight.

[ Stating the obvious to make it clear he's not upset. He's impressed ]

Yeah, and?

[What's your point, giant purple robot man.]

I'm waiting to hear if this served a purpose.

[ Which is an insulated way for someone like Shockwave asking if there was an oversight with its design. ]

Well, I know how you design sub-sentient AIs now.

...You, specifically. I already know how to program an AI.

[Nah bro you're good.]

I see.

[ Super learner super learner super learner super learner. ]

Little more than a diluted design compared to its predecessors, but not without cause.

[ The last thing they needed were Insecticons. ]

[Not exactly but close enough.]

I have contingency plans for a Von Neumann cascade, if it comes to that.

[By which Val means "self-replicating robots getting out of hand." She comes from a world with Hank Pym, after all.]

You must have found the obsolescence chip. Ethically tremulous but it has proven effective.

[ Which really even a moral gradient of drab grey is an improvement with Shockwave. ]

Offlining an AI not intended to become self-aware before it hits breakthrough is only responsible, plus it saves a lot of trouble. Emergent AI is fun but I really have too much on my plate right now to babysit.

[Val you are three.]

While I'm willing to indulge the bleeding hearts, we lack the facilities to encourage emergence we haven't anticipated. Too many unknowns operating on dangerously optimistic expectations.

That's a pretty impressive 'side project.' I'm glad to hear someone is working on helping out the humans. Like you said, Cybertron isn't exactly the most organic-friendly place. If there's anything I can do to help with that sort of stuff, let me know. I've spent a lot of time with humans recently.

Is anti-organic sentiment a problem where you're from? I haven't gotten the impression it's much of an issue with most of the bots here, especially compared to my cybertron.

[ Shockwave makes a noncommittal hum in lieu of any kind of response, because Optimus makes is clear he doesn't grasp what constitutes a side project for the likes of him. ]

While more virulent in, say, the likes of the Decepticon conclave - it would not be unheard of for lower ranking soldiers on both sides to take a dim view of organics.

[Bored now, but the pragmatism is noted.]

Yeah, anyway, I'll hook up to your grid but I'm gonna do my own internal work. There are some lines in here that would be bad to cut into.

[ How dare- ]

I hesitant to call that presumptuous until I've seen your attempt.

[Excuse you, she's Valeria Richards.]

If you want a tour you could just ask.

I would be a fool not to.

[ brb forging the custody papers. ]

Sure, come on by.

[If he can't figure out where she's broadcasting from without being told, he doesn't deserve a tour.]

[Well it's not like he spends a lot of time with scientifically oriented bots. Other than Ratchet but the thought of him willing going out of his way to help humans just because was difficult to imagine.]

Yeah, other than the Decepticons that sounds a lot more lenient of a viewpoint than there was on my Cybertron. Though I'm sure the fact travel to organic planets has been strictly forbidden since the war had a big part in that.

[He moves closer to the screen, squinting a little as he tries to get a better look at Shockwave despite the strange angle.]

Just to verify, are you a decepticon? Not that I mean to imply anything about your stance on humans, just curious.

[There is only one thing on Skipper's mind:]

Does that mean I can build a washing machine!

[She has been wearing the same clothes since she got here, and they were not clothes meant for roughing it for several months. They are clothes that are meant to be worn while playing video games and also looking fab, and while Skipper's built a few gadgets to help her out in this goshawful wasteland, she is super tired of her clothing being filthy.

After a moment of excited fistpumping in the air:]

Actually, hey, like, what all can your mechanoids build? Because I dunno what can be used as fiber on this planet, but a textile mill would be, like, the best thing. Heck, even just getting something to the yarn state would be super useful, I could make a ton of knitting machines for anyone who wants to make new clothes to program themselves...

[She pulls out her cell phone, and looks over her notes of Stuff. She has other ideas, but clearly clothing is the most important one.]

Darling, I could kiss you.

[She doesn't care about the warning to step off humans; anyone who tries will learn the hard way that Emma isn't squishy. Showers, though.]

[ A self-fulfilling prophecy much. ]

Ignoring the obvious physical limitations, I accept the approval nonetheless.

[You've seen what Emma can do with telepathy, Shockwave. Don't talk to her about physical limitations.]

Would your hospitality extend to some organic chemistry?

[She means cosmetics.]

That's uh.

Nice of you.

[WOW SMOOTH.]

Ah, how kind of you to announce your drones' presence after releasing them upon the city proper.

... Shockwave, I take it.

[The eyeball thing sort of gave it away.]

The drones are an intelligent cluster, but an isolated group could easily be given a separate directive. Retrofits to a large communal space in the human inhabited apartments would be the more efficient.

[ So, yes. And he takes a moment to consider the logistics of dividing up resources for a textiles plant. It could be done, and it wasn't like there was any other economic competition to speak of. ]

That hinges on the majority opinion of polyester.

Edited 2015-05-14 14:49 (UTC)

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