i cant think of a funny title

[planate]

Who: pipes and......you????
What: bang the minibot. cuddle him. slowly press a pie into his face. whatever
When: during the fuckening. the bangarang. the dingle dangle dongle
Where: AROUND
Warnings: hahahahahahhahahahahah



a.

Pipes knows the deal. He knows what the pollen has done to him and that he doesn't need to go to the medibay. He wants to handle this like an adult, but he has a big problem.

He is a really, really shitty adult.

He'll be around, wherever anyone wants to run into him. Adorable, horny minibots go where they are needed.

b.

Well, this was awkward. Despite his... efforts, Pipes had been unable to get rid of The Feeling.

Honestly, it was getting to the point where he was outright annoyed with the situation - he just wanted to carry on as normal after going a few rounds with both himself and perhaps some other people.

It didn't work. Nothing had worked. Pipes comes to a stop from his near constant driving and transforms, stumbling into a wall. He's quiet for a moment, then punches it in frustration.

...


"Ow! Frag it! Ow!"

c. closed to mayday

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Pipes wants to get laid with someone he cares about. More than average, at least.

He'd made a beeline for Mayday's ship-house and called up the lift shaft a few times.

Heh. Shaft.

Comments

[triggerhappycopter]

"It is! It's just the results are really dependant on the person and kinda vary wildly from mech to mech and situation to situation. The guidebook is really more of a suggestions book in my humble medical opinion." Cue vague hand wiggling gesture to convey the lack of scientific study that went into the 'guide' book.

"Like, if driving around really fast hasn't gotten rid of it before, I think you might wanna having a go at it with your hands." Spinister rubs his chin thoughtfully. "And if that doesn't work out then maybe get a friend. And if that doesn't work out, then you gotta either talk with a counselor and get your repressed sexual issues sorted out or it's something wrong with some transmitter in your brain module."

Frank medical advice is totally helpful right now, right?

[planate]

"Might help if I got your name."

He looks away, shifting slightly.

"Call out 'I need the one covered in spikes!' and about fifty come running, right? Ah. Hah."

Primus take the wheel

[knightlite]

Wing does laugh, his voice warming.

"They're mostly flight panels, but I catch your point. I'm Wing. ...and you?"

[planate]

Pipes isn't sure if he prefers it hard or not.

Blunt.

If he prefers it blunt or not.

"I, ah. Have tried. With my hands and with a friend. I'm fairly certain I don't have anything repressed." Pipes taps his chin himself. "Sexual, at least."

[planate]

Pipes' visor brightens lightly at the laugh. It's nice. He likes making people laugh.

"Pipes! Does meditating help with that thing going around? Because..."

He trails off awkwardly. Because nothing seems to work.

[triggerhappycopter]

"If it were a transmitter problem or a virus or something, it'd have shown up in the medical scanner."

Stumped, Spinister sits himself down crossed legged in front of Pipes and flips out a flashlight before waving him over. Might as well get comfortable and more minibot-height: this was going to take a while.

"Nanites maybe? Something's gotta be disguised well enough that the standard readouts aren't giving me anything."

[knightlite]

"I like it." Wing grins at him and nudges his shoulder. "Matches the pipes."

That grin turns a little sheepish and he tries to suppress the shiver that works through his plating, only mostly successfully.

"Ah, not... entirely. At all, really. Sorry."

[planate]

"...Would anything really be specifically designed to induce this? I mean... I may have run into some people with the same symptoms. I definitely did."

He shifts again, considering sitting down. Could he do that? No, probably shouldn't.

"Did you even have this issue? I want to know how you either avoided it or. Fixed it."

Y'know, if he can stay coherent long enough to have an actual conversation with Spinister.

[planate]

He mocks a gasp, "That must be why people call me that!"

Ha ha ha what a terrible joke

"That's... annoying, really. I mean, I'm not great at meditating anyway, but. Y'know."

Really, really annoying. He sort of wants to punch a wall again, but also wants Wing to touch him again. Pipes hopes the two are not mutually exclusive.

[knightlite]

"I could teach you, if you like. Sometime when we're both less, hmm. Distracted, maybe."

Wing coughs, his voice a little staticky, and tries not to look like he's trying not to touch Pipes again.

"Annoying is... certainly a word for it, yes. I've mostly just been taking care of it myself, but it doesn't seem to be going away. It's very frustrating."

[triggerhappycopter]

"I've seen people recode repair nanites to do all sorts of unpleasant stuff. Wiped out a whole base of people in less than a cycle one time. It was slow release, so it didn't do anything until everyone got it and it was too late then."

Pinching Pipe's chin between his index finger and thumb, he leans closer, shining the flashlight into his optics to check for any irregularities. Rogue nanites sometimes strayed and floated about where they shouldn't be.

"I'm pretty sure I haven't avoided whatever's happened if it's happened to a lot of people you've met. We aren't exactly a big population." Finding nothing, he huffs and lets go of the minibot's chin. "Honestly, this kind of reminds me of a story one of my squaddies told me once about how they all went onto this planet and it was full of weird energy plant stuff that shedded pollen that made everyone suuuuper horny--"

...

Spinister tugs Pipes closer and shines the light down the vents on his chest.

C!

[scaredybot]

Mayday leans excitedly to peek down the elevator hole - he's installed safety netting now to help prevent unfortunate falls - and waves enthusiastically.

"H-hi Pipes! Get in the elevator and I'll bring you up!"

Mayday hasn't been dealing with this unfortunate affliction. He's been busy tinkering in his home, and between the air filtration system and the fact that he strips out most of the vegetation within a kilometer of his house, he hasn't been encountering much pollen.

[planate]

It's a bit of a surprise to be tugged, but Pipes isn't gonna stop it. He's caught up in enjoying the contact more than he should as well as wanting Spinister to figure out what's going on.

"See anything?" he asks in a stilted tone.

[planate]

"Yeah, same. I, uh. Am gonna be really upset if this lasts longer than a few days."

He shifts awkwardly again.

"Uh. I should probably get going. To. Do something about it myself. And stop interrupting you."

That may have been worded slightly in a way to see if he could get Wing to offer to help. Pipes immediately regrets it. Damn pollen.

[knightlite]

Wing watches Pipes' face, nibbling his lower lip as his optics brighten.

"Pipes," he says slowly, not moving, not reaching for him in the slightest. "Would you... like some assistance?"

Re: C!

[planate]

He does so, waving back.

"Hey!"

At the very least, he'll be in a sterile environment and maybe that'll kill off all the pollen. He'll lock himself in Mayday's bathroom if he has to.

[planate]

"Yes."

A pause. He feels so bad about how he worded that previous sentence and he probably doesn't even need to.

"I mean. Less enthusiastically. If that's okay. That last part is important."

[knightlite]

Wing carefully bites his lip on a laugh and reaches out, his fingertips brushing Pipes' before they curl around his hand and he tugs, pulling Pipes gently into the building with him.

"Come in, then, please," he says, his voice low and warm before his mouth quirks up. "It's very okay. And the more enthusiasm the better, I think."

[planate]

"I-- well-- you--"

Oh, goodness! He follows Wing in, practically vibrating with enthusiasm.

"Agree!"

[knightlite]

Wing leads Pipes into the room he'd been occupying--there isn't much else there, just a slab and a door that closes properly.

"No reason to be nervous," he says, slipping his fingers between Pipes' and squeezing lightly.

[planate]

Let's be real, that's all they need.

He squeezes back lightly, visor brightening.

"Thanks. Again."

[knightlite]

Wing laughs warmly and releases Pipes' hand, shifting to sit down on the berth.

"Thank you. I certainly appreciate the help also."

[planate]

"Good. I think. I honestly have no idea how I'm supposed to react or what I'm supposed to say in this situation."

He'll be honest. He pretended to know what he was doing with Miria, and that ended... well, it didn't end badly but it was a little embarrassing.

Trying to not fall on his face or anything, he hops up on the berth next to Wing.

[knightlite]

"What, you don't make getting drugged with aphrodisiacs a regular habit? Goodness, I can't imagine why not." Wing grins at him and reaches out, just sliding an arm around Pipes' shoulders and nudging a kiss against the side of his helm. It's chaste, almost friendly, despite how close Wing is and the obvious heat rolling off his frame.

"I don't think this is well-charted territory for anybody here, and I wouldn't worry too much about 'supposed to.'" Wing's fingers shift, running along the seams and edges in Pipes' shoulder absently. "All I ask is that you tell me if you'r uncomfortable or want to stop or take a break. Anything else we can work out as we go."

[planate]

That makes Pipes snort unattractively.

"Surprising, right? I--" He wasn't expecting Wing to rub his shoulder. He's basing basically everything off what happened with Miria, which was quite literally jumping straight into it in a back alley. The bar could not be physically lower. "Ohhhh, goodness. I can-- I can tell you that. Don't stop that."

Approved!