robothell | i cant think of a funny title

i cant think of a funny title

Who: pipes and......you????
What: bang the minibot. cuddle him. slowly press a pie into his face. whatever
When: during the fuckening. the bangarang. the dingle dangle dongle
Where: AROUND
Warnings: hahahahahahhahahahahah

a.

Pipes knows the deal. He knows what the pollen has done to him and that he doesn't need to go to the medibay. He wants to handle this like an adult, but he has a big problem.

He is a really, really shitty adult.

He'll be around, wherever anyone wants to run into him. Adorable, horny minibots go where they are needed.

b.

Well, this was awkward. Despite his... efforts, Pipes had been unable to get rid of The Feeling.

Honestly, it was getting to the point where he was outright annoyed with the situation - he just wanted to carry on as normal after going a few rounds with both himself and perhaps some other people.

It didn't work. Nothing had worked. Pipes comes to a stop from his near constant driving and transforms, stumbling into a wall. He's quiet for a moment, then punches it in frustration.

...

"Ow! Frag it! Ow!"

c. closed to mayday

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Pipes wants to get laid with someone he cares about. More than average, at least.

He'd made a beeline for Mayday's ship-house and called up the lift shaft a few times.

Heh. Shaft.

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"...Would anything really be specifically designed to induce this? I mean... I may have run into some people with the same symptoms. I definitely did."

He shifts again, considering sitting down. Could he do that? No, probably shouldn't.

"Did you even have this issue? I want to know how you either avoided it or. Fixed it."

Y'know, if he can stay coherent long enough to have an actual conversation with Spinister.

"I've seen people recode repair nanites to do all sorts of unpleasant stuff. Wiped out a whole base of people in less than a cycle one time. It was slow release, so it didn't do anything until everyone got it and it was too late then."

Pinching Pipe's chin between his index finger and thumb, he leans closer, shining the flashlight into his optics to check for any irregularities. Rogue nanites sometimes strayed and floated about where they shouldn't be.

"I'm pretty sure I haven't avoided whatever's happened if it's happened to a lot of people you've met. We aren't exactly a big population." Finding nothing, he huffs and lets go of the minibot's chin. "Honestly, this kind of reminds me of a story one of my squaddies told me once about how they all went onto this planet and it was full of weird energy plant stuff that shedded pollen that made everyone suuuuper horny--"

...

Spinister tugs Pipes closer and shines the light down the vents on his chest.

It's a bit of a surprise to be tugged, but Pipes isn't gonna stop it. He's caught up in enjoying the contact more than he should as well as wanting Spinister to figure out what's going on.

"See anything?" he asks in a stilted tone.

"Oh, plenty! You ought to get your vents clean out more often."

Flipping a swab out of his wrist compartment, Spinister takes a quick swab of the inside of the vent before clicking it into a container and putting it away.

"It looks like pollen of some sort alright, but I'm not a xenobiologist and just because it's on you, doesn't mean it's doing the thing."

There's a beat. Spinister sits there awkwardly for a moment.

"Also, do you want me to, uh, do the thing?"

"Yeah, I. Forget sometimes. Here, I mean, usually I can actually take care of myself. I got a rock caught in there once!"

Not something he should be proud of. Pipes shifts awkwardly, too.

"Uh. I mean. I wouldn't mind it but I'm pretty sure that's because of the pollen. If you don't want to I'm not gonna force you."

"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttt."

This tiny Autobot forcing Spinister to do anything.

No, wait. Spin was regularly bossed around by Krok and Krok could make him do literally anything. Whoops.

"Your temp is hiking is why I was asking."

Pipes is now being tugged onto Spinister's expansive lap.

"I-- oh!" Pipes squeaks. He was just covering bases and letting Spinister know he wouldn't hold it personally if the medic wanted to walk away!

Is what he wanted to say. His temp spikes even more, now.

"Uh."

Spin is big. Like, he's into it, but Spin is so big.

Fortunately, Spinister was very used to smaller partners- and he had unusually well suited hands for the task too.

Pipe's stunned response earns him a playful heli engine rumble. The aforementioned hands gently position the smaller mech, moving him so that his back was pressed up against the massive curve of Spin's chest, knees on teal thighs.

"This okay?" he asks, running his fingers over Pipe's sides.

Seeing as Pipes is still an inexperienced turbonerd, he pretty much just enjoys everything.

"Oof-- yes. You know what you're doing!"

"Heh! A little bit!"

The Autobot was so tiny! Fulcrum was tall at least and Krok was built like a tiny tank, but this fellow was both noodly and tiny.

Spinister marvels at that, cupping a hand over Pipe's chest, free hand sliding down one of the fellow's thighs, thumb strumming over the curve of his tiny aft.

"Oh!" he squeaks. Goodness, having his ass patted is oddly nice. He wouldn't have expected that to feel good but HERE WE ARE.

"The size... isn't gonna be an issue, right?"

"Deeeepends on what you wanna do."

Which is Spin's cue to slip two fingers between Pipe's thighs, stroking the plating there, free hand keeping his partner firmly propped up against his chest,

There's a sharp intake of breath at the stroking, and he arcs slightly into it.

"I, uh." How do think straight??? "Don't know?"

Spinister starts up his engine, letting the low rumble transfer between his plating and Pipe's, fingers drawing delicate patterns over the seams of the Autobot's pelvic armor.

"We'll figure it out as we go then," he laughs, flattening Pipe's aft against his abdominal armor and letting his powerplant cycle up until the vibrations sent nearby rocks skipping around from the force of it. "You like this?"

"Y--" Gosh, Spinister is big. And Pipes is so small.

And horny.

"Yes!"

Spinister wasn't sure if he wants to pinch this ridiculous nerd's nonexistent cheeks or make him overload until he couldn't walk straight.

Okay, yeah, no, it was definitely the latter, who was he kidding.

"You wanna open up?" he asks, drawing a finger down the apex of Pipe's thighs, voice distorted by his own engine rumbles.

"Oh! Right. That's. Something I have to do. Right."

He's still a little distracted by the vibrations. It's like sitting on a robo-washing machine!

Popping his panel open, he looks up at Spinister, head leaning back against his chest.

"Okay."

...Still no idea what he's doing.

"Well, you don't... have to." Except Pipe's has already popped his panel and Spinister puffs warm air out his vents, moving his hands to the smaller mech's hips for a moment.

"So I'm kinda getting the impression that you're awful new at this business," the heli remarks, rubbing the small of Pipe's back with his thumbs.

"Was it that obvious?" He snorts. "The, uh. Size is a first for sure."

"Before we go off trying to get you off, you and I need to establish some ground rules and especially since you don't know how this stuff goes down too well, right?" Spin kneads his thumbs into the seams in Pipe's armor in slow and soothing motions. "One; you don't need to do anything and everything your partner or partners ask just because they said so and especially if you don't feel comfortable with it."

"Two; since we're not super familiar with each other and you're kind of super new at this, we gotta communicate. So," the heli gently rubs his fingers over his smaller partner's abdominal armor. "And I want you to think about about it a little bit; are you comfortable with this?"

"Got it. On both counts."

Despite the pollen telling him he wants a giant helicopter Decepticon dong in every hole he has, Pipes forces himself to think about it seriously.

After a minute or two, he's come to the conclusion that, yes. It would be nice. Not just because of the pollen. Pipes may be discovering his latent size difference... appreciation.

"Yes. I am. And I appreciate it, too. Uh. Fixing my hand as well. Everything."

Stop babbling!

Spin doesn't mind the babbling in the least but then he's shared a ship the chattiest fucking shitshot this side of the galaxy.

"Seriously though, you probably ought to avoid punching walls," he puffs because acknowledging gratitude was totally not Decepticon-like.

Of course, now that he's got the verbal okay from Pipes, Spinister finally lets his hand wander down, gliding it over the smaller mech's interface array.

"So," he leans down to nuzzle his mask against Pipe's neck, fingers teasing at the head of his cord. "How's this feel?"

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i cant think of a funny title

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