i cant think of a funny title

[planate]

Who: pipes and......you????
What: bang the minibot. cuddle him. slowly press a pie into his face. whatever
When: during the fuckening. the bangarang. the dingle dangle dongle
Where: AROUND
Warnings: hahahahahahhahahahahah



a.

Pipes knows the deal. He knows what the pollen has done to him and that he doesn't need to go to the medibay. He wants to handle this like an adult, but he has a big problem.

He is a really, really shitty adult.

He'll be around, wherever anyone wants to run into him. Adorable, horny minibots go where they are needed.

b.

Well, this was awkward. Despite his... efforts, Pipes had been unable to get rid of The Feeling.

Honestly, it was getting to the point where he was outright annoyed with the situation - he just wanted to carry on as normal after going a few rounds with both himself and perhaps some other people.

It didn't work. Nothing had worked. Pipes comes to a stop from his near constant driving and transforms, stumbling into a wall. He's quiet for a moment, then punches it in frustration.

...


"Ow! Frag it! Ow!"

c. closed to mayday

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Pipes wants to get laid with someone he cares about. More than average, at least.

He'd made a beeline for Mayday's ship-house and called up the lift shaft a few times.

Heh. Shaft.

Comments

[planate]

"Was it that obvious?" He snorts. "The, uh. Size is a first for sure."

[scaredybot]

"O-oh..." The raunchy novels always made it seem like your first time would be the Best Time Ever, and he'd kind of hoped that wasn't just fiction.

Then again, he's also kind of glad that Pipes didn't have the Best Time Ever with someone else. Whoops.

Moving back around, Mayday pauses with the sponge resting on Pipes's belly, looking him in the visor. Then he slowly leans in a bomps faceplate to faceshield.

[planate]

Oh Mayday you lowkey bitch

Pipes watches him, then puts a hand on top of Mayday's on his stomach, using the other to pull him in. Intense faceplate bomping!! After a few moments, he slides his hand down from the back of Mayday's neck to the small of his back. Nice.

[triggerhappycopter]

"Before we go off trying to get you off, you and I need to establish some ground rules and especially since you don't know how this stuff goes down too well, right?" Spin kneads his thumbs into the seams in Pipe's armor in slow and soothing motions. "One; you don't need to do anything and everything your partner or partners ask just because they said so and especially if you don't feel comfortable with it."

"Two; since we're not super familiar with each other and you're kind of super new at this, we gotta communicate. So," the heli gently rubs his fingers over his smaller partner's abdominal armor. "And I want you to think about about it a little bit; are you comfortable with this?"

[fuckinstoplights]

"But doesn't that make it hard to make friends?"

Please explain to him the facts of a social life, Pipes.

[scaredybot]

Mayday giggles at the hand on his waist, rubbing his faceshield affectionately against Pipes's faceplate. Staring adoringly at his boyfriend, he opens his mouth.

His vocalizer clicks over several times before anything comes out. "Um, are you-? I mean, do you n-need- nhh, I... I could, uh, I could-?"

Why can't he be suave like in the novels?

Well, when words fail... He inches the sponge minutely further down Pipes's belly.

[planate]

"Not really."

Sweet honey child

"There's a lot of people around. Like. Thousands. Not here, specifically, but in general."

[planate]

"Got it. On both counts."

Despite the pollen telling him he wants a giant helicopter Decepticon dong in every hole he has, Pipes forces himself to think about it seriously.

After a minute or two, he's come to the conclusion that, yes. It would be nice. Not just because of the pollen. Pipes may be discovering his latent size difference... appreciation.

"Yes. I am. And I appreciate it, too. Uh. Fixing my hand as well. Everything."

Stop babbling!

[planate]

It feels nice on his warm armour. And it tickles, too. Pipes lets out a slightly muffled giggle.

"Hey, I probably know less about this than you do." Which is being truthful, not just trying to egg him on.

He shudders slightly, though, because of the feeling and slides his other hand down. Woah getting lewd in this steamy shower!!!

[fuckinstoplights]

"... what?"

Good job, Pipes. Look how confused he is now.

[planate]

"What, what?"

Two confused nerds. Oh dear.

[scaredybot]

"M-me?" Mayday asks. "I haven't-! I've never- I definitely don't read those sorts of romances! Or-or-or- any romances! I don't- I don't read who reads not me what."

Someone is a bit embarrassed about reading porn.

He does, however, slide the sponge another tiny bit lower with an inquisitive squeak.

[planate]

"When did reading come into it..." Pipes asks, trailing off awkwardly.

Because as much as Mayday has cleaned out a lot of the pollen and Pipes ignoring the effects, it was bound to happen eventually. Pop, goes his heart. And also his panel.

Lewd x2 combo.

[triggerhappycopter]

Spin doesn't mind the babbling in the least but then he's shared a ship the chattiest fucking shitshot this side of the galaxy.

"Seriously though, you probably ought to avoid punching walls," he puffs because acknowledging gratitude was totally not Decepticon-like.

Of course, now that he's got the verbal okay from Pipes, Spinister finally lets his hand wander down, gliding it over the smaller mech's interface array.

"So," he leans down to nuzzle his mask against Pipe's neck, fingers teasing at the head of his cord. "How's this feel?"

[fuckinstoplights]

"There's... that many people?"

He just looks shocked.

[scaredybot]

"It didn't who said anything about reading not me- oh!"

Mayday glances down at the sound of Pipes's panel and- oh sweet Allspark, he's never seen anybody's interface array up close in person before. The metal of his cheeks blazes hot enough to boil water.

Standing frozen for a long, silent moment he finally... Moves the sponge down between Pipes's thighs.

[planate]

"...Yeah?"

[fuckinstoplights]

"That's..." He shakes his head. "How do you keep track?"

[planate]

"Okay, I just..."

He waves his free hand.

"How many people have you met before this?"

[fuckinstoplights]

"... Maybe ten."

And that's being generous. But he hadn't really paid that much attention to all the mechanics building him.

Just the one person who mattered most.

[planate]

...


Wow, uh.


"Kagerou, I don't mean any offence by this, but how old are you?"

[fuckinstoplights]

"... I don't know."

Because he had no idea when he came online, or how many days had passed since then.

[planate]

This explains so much.

"Alright, don't worry about it then. Was just wondering."

[fuckinstoplights]

"... Is that wrong? Not knowing?"

Oops, wow now he's worried.

[planate]

"No, not really. I don't know exactly how old I am. Just vaguely."