robothell | i cant think of a funny title

i cant think of a funny title

Who: pipes and......you????
What: bang the minibot. cuddle him. slowly press a pie into his face. whatever
When: during the fuckening. the bangarang. the dingle dangle dongle
Where: AROUND
Warnings: hahahahahahhahahahahah

a.

Pipes knows the deal. He knows what the pollen has done to him and that he doesn't need to go to the medibay. He wants to handle this like an adult, but he has a big problem.

He is a really, really shitty adult.

He'll be around, wherever anyone wants to run into him. Adorable, horny minibots go where they are needed.

b.

Well, this was awkward. Despite his... efforts, Pipes had been unable to get rid of The Feeling.

Honestly, it was getting to the point where he was outright annoyed with the situation - he just wanted to carry on as normal after going a few rounds with both himself and perhaps some other people.

It didn't work. Nothing had worked. Pipes comes to a stop from his near constant driving and transforms, stumbling into a wall. He's quiet for a moment, then punches it in frustration.

...

"Ow! Frag it! Ow!"

c. closed to mayday

Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Pipes wants to get laid with someone he cares about. More than average, at least.

He'd made a beeline for Mayday's ship-house and called up the lift shaft a few times.

Heh. Shaft.

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Mayday gasps, fingers twitching as a sympathetic itch spreads over his plating.

"Your vents? No wonder you're running hit!" Clogged vents lead to overheating issues, which is why you should dust regularly.

Before Pipes can say anything, Mayday is bustling him into the washroom. Sealing the door behind them and turning the air circulation on high, he grabs the hose for the air compressor off the wall.

He plans to clean Pipes within an inch of his life. The way people are meant to be cleaned.

Oh. Oh, dear, Mayday is coming in with him.

"Mayday, I don't-- WAGBLBLBG"

Well, he was about to warn him of the pollen but then Mayday sprayed him in the face. An attempt was made.

"Sorry about that!" Mayday says, shifting the air hose away from Pipes's face.

His hands run delicately over Pipes's plating, trying to find an intake vent. Then he unceremoniously jams the nozzle into the vent and blasts pressurized air through his boyfriend's ventilation systems.

"It's fine, I--"

Ohhh the water feels nice. He leans on Mayday for support for a moment.

"It's what I had in my vents I was worried about."

Would it still affect Mayday after being soaked? He's not sure.

Mayday flushes slightly as Pipes leans against him.

"What did you get in you?" Because the water that sluices back out of Pipes's vents doesn't look any dirtier than expected from someone who doesn't rinse their innards religiously. It certainly doesn't look like enough dirt to get someone's systems running hot...

"Uuhhhhhhhh...."

This is awkward.

"UhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsomepollenSpinistersaidmakeseveryonereallyhorny." he coughs into a hand.

"What was that?" Mayday is very good a babbling but not very good at interpreting it.

Wedging the hose into the vent so it can keep rinsing Pipes out while he fetches other supplies, Mayday holds up a a bottle of spray soap and a sponge.

"Um, want me to clean you up while you're here?"

His cheeks are glowing a little. This may or may not have anything to do with the pollen. Mayday may just have a cleaning kink.

Unbelievable, Mayday. Absolutely unbelievable.

Pipes coughs into his hand again. Strange, seeing as he has no mouth.

"It's... pollen. That Spinister said makes everyone really horny..."

"It... What??" Did he just hear that right? Pollen that makes people h-h-h-

"Oh. Oh. O-oh..."

So that's. Probably why Pipes is running warm. OH.

"...so you probably don't want a wash," he squeaks as his brain proceeds to cease to function.

Heeee just looks away awkwardly.

"...I didn't mind it actually. Uh. Not because of the pollen. I think."

Awkward. He shakes his head.

"Uh. I did want to see you particularly for a reason." He's just not sure what that reason was anymore.

"...B-because you're h-hh-h-" Nope, he can't say it. "Because of that?"

His voice, it won't unsqueak. He's feeling very flustered right now. And a little faint. He really needs a distraction right now.

So he proceeds to spray some soap on one of Pipes's shoulders and rub the sponge over it. Best solution.

"...Yeah. I can go if you want."

Ohhh this was a bad idea, Pipes feels bad now.

"No, no, you don't have to leave! It's okay. It's, um. Uh. Nhn."

How to words. Flustered, Mayday shifts to scrubbing Pipes's chest.

In a very small voice he mumbles. "I'veneverdonestuffwithsomeonebefore..."

"If you're sure."

He'd probably just go find an empty building and self-service anyway. This friggin' pollen is really annoying him.

"I... hadn't until this stupid stuff, either. It was. Confusing."

"Oh, so you- and you've- oh."

Oh gosh. Now he's thinking about Pipes doing... things with people. Like in those pulpy romances he read.

"Oh."

SCRUBBING OF SMALL BOYFRIEND INTENSIFIES.

Well, this is awkward.

"Uh. If it means anything, I do wish I'd come here first."

To get cleaned or for making fuck?? WHO KNOWS

"No, it's, um, it's, uh. Um. It's okay. You're okay. I-"

More flustered cleaning. He moves around to clean Pipes's back.

"...how... Um... Was... It?"

"Confusing. Mildly distressing, but it still felt pretty good. What you'd expect from the first time, really."

Yeah sorry bro he just basically admitted to wanting the first time with Weenie McGee cleaning his back here

"O-oh..." The raunchy novels always made it seem like your first time would be the Best Time Ever, and he'd kind of hoped that wasn't just fiction.

Then again, he's also kind of glad that Pipes didn't have the Best Time Ever with someone else. Whoops.

Moving back around, Mayday pauses with the sponge resting on Pipes's belly, looking him in the visor. Then he slowly leans in a bomps faceplate to faceshield.

Oh Mayday you lowkey bitch

Pipes watches him, then puts a hand on top of Mayday's on his stomach, using the other to pull him in. Intense faceplate bomping!! After a few moments, he slides his hand down from the back of Mayday's neck to the small of his back. Nice.

Mayday giggles at the hand on his waist, rubbing his faceshield affectionately against Pipes's faceplate. Staring adoringly at his boyfriend, he opens his mouth.

His vocalizer clicks over several times before anything comes out. "Um, are you-? I mean, do you n-need- nhh, I... I could, uh, I could-?"

Why can't he be suave like in the novels?

Well, when words fail... He inches the sponge minutely further down Pipes's belly.

It feels nice on his warm armour. And it tickles, too. Pipes lets out a slightly muffled giggle.

"Hey, I probably know less about this than you do." Which is being truthful, not just trying to egg him on.

He shudders slightly, though, because of the feeling and slides his other hand down. Woah getting lewd in this steamy shower!!!

"M-me?" Mayday asks. "I haven't-! I've never- I definitely don't read those sorts of romances! Or-or-or- any romances! I don't- I don't read who reads not me what."

Someone is a bit embarrassed about reading porn.

He does, however, slide the sponge another tiny bit lower with an inquisitive squeak.

"When did reading come into it..." Pipes asks, trailing off awkwardly.

Because as much as Mayday has cleaned out a lot of the pollen and Pipes ignoring the effects, it was bound to happen eventually. Pop, goes his heart. And also his panel.

Lewd x2 combo.

"It didn't who said anything about reading not me- oh!"

Mayday glances down at the sound of Pipes's panel and- oh sweet Allspark, he's never seen anybody's interface array up close in person before. The metal of his cheeks blazes hot enough to boil water.

Standing frozen for a long, silent moment he finally... Moves the sponge down between Pipes's thighs.

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i cant think of a funny title

Re: C!

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