[ INTRO LOG ]

[robotsatan]

You don't know how you got here. One minute you were walking, sleeping, maybe dead -- then you're here, your feet suddenly carrying you down an empty street. Where's here?

Any Cybertronian would recognize this as their home planet, Cybertron, but it's not a Cybertron they've ever known. It has all the familiar hallmarks, but none of the specifics -- the city isn't one anyone here could identify, and even at a glance it's obvious that no one's set foot on the planet's surface in hundreds of years. The city and its surrounding areas all bear the marks of devastating war, of dust and rust collected over centuries. With no one in sight -- right at first, anyway -- there's plenty to explore. In fact, if you start walking, you'll find that your feet may just carry you in one particular direction.

A) The crater.
On one edge of the city is a massive crater left by some wartime weapon that seems to have taken out a large chunk of the surrounding metropolitan area. At the center of the crater it's broken through the surface of the terrain to reveal what looks like it might be a promising energon deposit. There is some strange but native vegetation growing around the edges, too, that no Cybertronian would be able to identify -- small, metallic, brittle-looking sprouts that bear a curiously organic-looking fruit of some kind that doesn't look like it's intended for consumption by any natives of the planet. In one rocky nook of the crater, light catches on the surface of a pool of water, which seems strangely out of place on Cybertron. On closer inspection, it seems that somehow an underground water source has formed a spring in the crater.

B) The center of the city.
If you follow where your feet seem to want to carry you, you'll find yourself in the middle of the ruined city. It seems that the center of the city was once home to a massive forum, and some of the pillars and structures still stand. At the very center of the forum is a massive, elaborately constructed fountain, although it has now long since run dry of whatever used to fill it. One of the low, inner walls of the forum has a terminal embedded in its surface, although it looks curiously ancient, out of place with the rest of the city, and unlike the rest of the technology still left around, there doesn't seem to be any way to power it on or operate it. There are a few scattered pools of water and a few of the strange metallic plants in the city, too, but they're not quite as plentiful as in the crater.

The planet was obviously once home to a massive network of communication relays, but those have all been long since destroyed. However, with the bits and pieces left behind and a few determined minds, it wouldn't be too hard to build a working, if rudimentary, one...

Comments

[smarterthandad]

"Do all of you turn into trucks?" Val asked as she scrambled from his hand to his shoulder, "or is it more individualized?"

She settled in where she could work a hand under his plating to hold on if she had to, but those were some broad shoulders Optimus had, and she was very small, so as long as he didn't forget she was there, it should be all right.

[luckyfaceplate]

"Mmm. It depends on our frame type. I'm not exactly built to be a jet."

Not that he minded really. He found other ways of achieving flight. Like jumping.

He makes sure the ride isn't too bumpy, his ear pieces swiveling as he gathers his surroundings. He's still not exactly sure how Val is surviving on Cybertron, but he supposes it's best not to ask. Clearly whatever was stopping her from asphyxiating was a positive note.

[smarterthandad]

"I'd ask who built you, but the soil composition and the techno-organic plant life suggest you evolved."

Val was far, far more intelligent than even most adults of her species, but she was still three years old, which mean incessant questions. At least they were perceptive ones.

"...What's your name, anyway?"

Well, most of them were.

[luckyfaceplate]

"You'd be correct. We have no creator, but evolved, as you said."

He's surprised this is coming from a child because it took awhile to explain that to some adults. Maybe if you teach them early they all turn out like this.

"My name is Optimus Prime. I'm Commander and Leader of the Autobot faction."

...

"It's nice to meet you."

Courtesy can go a long way.

[smarterthandad]

Humans in Optimus' universe, adults or not, lacked the constant exposure to comic book insanity that was Val's entire life. As far as she was concerned, this was only slightly weirder than normal. Combined with the preternatural intelligence, it made her blase about things like suddenly being on a largely deserted planet whose native population consisted of giant shape-shifting robots.

"Valeria Richards, and likewise." She patted his shoulder in lieu of a handshake. "Is 'Prime' a title?"

[luckyfaceplate]

'Slightly', more like 'slight understatement'. But he wasn't one to judge. Size didn't really matter, did it? As long as you were competent.

You can't see it, but there's a slight smile under that stoney-faceplate.

"It is. It is...hm. It's hard to translate into a position on Earth. We are a Commander and yet a figurehead combined."

[smarterthandad]

"Combining head of government and head of state functions isn't that unheard of. My home polity does it, among others." Political theory could be counted among Val's interests only insofar as she was interested in subverting governments for her own less-than-nefarious but still not aboveboard ends. She'd figure out he was functionally a military governor soon enough anyway.

"What other factions are there?"

Endless.

Questions.

[luckyfaceplate]

Okay seriously what kind of schools do they have on Earth because all the ones he saw were like full of scummy kids who can barely write cursive and here you are talking about government IT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN OKAY.

"Decepticons, and the Non-aligned."

Don't tell him you're going to be one of THOSE children, Val.

[smarterthandad]

She's three, it's what they do at that age. Also, build death rays and cut backroom deals with supervillains. Wait no, that's just Val.

"And how do they feel vis-a-vis 'the freedom of all sentient beings?'"

'Decepticon' didn't sound all that aboveboard, really.

[luckyfaceplate]

Humans have such accelerated lives...just don't let Brainstorm find you, kid. You're the last thing he needs to discover exists.

"Mmm."

Now that was hard.

"They had the same vision, once. But they've been led astray by their own hatred and quest for power."

[smarterthandad]

Don't worry, Optimus, Val has "become immortal" blocked off in her schedule for her early 20s. Also, she'll probably find Brainstorm all by herself.

Anyway, Optimus' musing on the fall of the Decepticon ideal was not really the information she'd been looking for. "Uh, I'm sure it's tragic and all, but I was hoping for something a little more practical in the 'avoiding getting stepped on' department."

[luckyfaceplate]

Jeez kid, at least save some time to go to Six Flags or make a gingerbread house. Maybe go to an arcade.

"...Uh."

Okay, so she was more of a practical one.

"They don't seem to appreciate human companionship as well as Autobots."

See: You may or may not get stepped on.

[smarterthandad]

"Right." There were always complications, sigh. "Okay, bumping 'force field generator' up the priority list. What does their insignia look like, assuming they use one?"

Good to know who to avoid until she got her force fields and repulsors up and running.

[luckyfaceplate]

It was hard to describe the insignia, for sure. So he takes a moment to make sure she's secured as he lowers himself down, onto one knee. A quick drawing in the ground below ought to do the trick.

Optimus isn't the best artist, for sure, but he's seen the insignia enough to get a well enough picture of it down in the dirt.

"That. Should you see anyone with this symbol, it is best to avoid them."

[smarterthandad]

"Got it, thanks." Val barely glanced at Optimus' drawing, but that was all it took to commit the Decepticon badge to her near-computer memory. "I assume the civilians don't display colors and will be unpredictable?"

'Civilians' was a guess, but you didn't go around prominently displaying insignia and calling yourselves factions if it was just a crosstown rivalry with another high school.

[luckyfaceplate]

Val was a gift in that he didn't have to elaborate on anything. She took the information and processed it without his help.

"You'd be correct. They'll proudly claim their nonalignment, as well."

Thanks you could help, Metalhawk.

"I've noticed you're adapting rather quickly to this situation. Have you...been in this scenario before?"

[smarterthandad]

"Not this exact one, obviously, but you're correct. This is not my first involuntary transuniversal vacation. It beats the heck out of the Negative Zone, I'll tell you that."

Val understood machines on a level so deep it almost qualified as instinct. Cybertron--or a populated and functional Cybertron, anyway--was exactly her speed. Probably just as well for the universe(s) that this version of the planet didn't have a working technological base to build from.

[luckyfaceplate]

That was definitely fortunate. With her knowledge and...obvious experience, that gave him slight hope in understanding this place, and how to get out of it.

"And how did you manage to return to your home dimension, if I may ask?"

Humans, always full of surprises.

[smarterthandad]

"It varies. Generally Dad builds a machine to do it." The 'involuntary' qualifier on Val's dry use of 'transuniversal vacation' came from the fact that about half the problems Reed Richards ended up having to solve were ones he'd caused himself.

"If my godfather comes looking for me it might be magic, though." Real magic. Not Rodimus-talks-about-science magic.

[luckyfaceplate]

"At least we have...options to choose from." This is Optimus, trying to be optimistic. As you can see, he's very awkward at it, like 90% of his life.

"What kind of magic? It's not something I've personally seen in my lifetime."

Except maybe advertisements for shows on Earth.

[smarterthandad]

As far as Val was concerned, they did have options. There were all kinds of ways to travel between universes, and she knew most of the technological ones.

"It's not something I know much about. I've helped Uncle Doom--" hey, don't laugh, you people have names like Chromedome and Spinister "--cast spells, but it's always been primarily as an observer. From my experience, the fundamental principle is imposing a narrative by sufficient force of will that alters natural law in the sorcerer's favor."

[luckyfaceplate]

He was just about to make a comment about 'Uncle Doom', because if that's not setting up yourself as a villain, he didn't know what was--but holds back, as Megatron with an R is pretty silly too.

...

He caught maybe 50% of that, Val.

"So you've usually had his assistance, I take it."

[smarterthandad]

Can she talk to Perceptor, please.

"Uncle Doom? He comes through when I need him, but usually it's Dad. Don't worry, anything Dad can do I can duplicate." Well, barring stretching herself like silly putty, but that wasn't strictly necessary for lab work, even if it did mean Reed didn't have to get out of his chair very often.

Val patted the plating on Optimus' shoulder again to reassure him. It's okay, she's got this.

[luckyfaceplate]

Let him just get out his robot cell phone where he can get good service.

He's slightly amused, though, in how determined and sure Val is in everything. Humans certainly were a very interesting species... He can't help but admire them.

"Then I'm thankful to know someone so knowledgeable. Unfortunately, my scientists seem to be missing. So I hope it's not too much to request your help in the future."

[smarterthandad]

"Sure, I'll give you a hand." Often abrasive personality aside, Val really did want to be helpful and work for the common good. She was merely appalling at anything that even slightly resembled ethics.

"I'm the best there is with machines." Darn right he was lucky to have her around. Valeria was not burdened with false modesty, or indeed any sort of modesty at all.