[ THE "DRIFT GOT HECKED UP BY TARN" CATCH-ALL POST ]

[auramatic]

Who: Drift, Rodimus, Ratchet, Megatron and whoever else wants to chime in
What: the inevitable fallout of the fucked up shit Tarn just did to Drift
Where: Red Alert's clinic
When: starting a few days after Tarn beat the shit out of Drift
Warnings: a lot of sad. a lot of gay

jk i'm lazy, thread starters below

Comments

[rodders]

"And most of the Circle." Like, ninety percent ended up dead by the time they got to them. So uh. There's that. Confusion flickers across his face, frown deepening at Drift's reaction. "Er. That's not what you meant?"

Rodimus didn't meant to just spring that on Drift, but he mentioned Crystal City and he knew Drift missed the whole Luna 1 thing on account of the exile thing. And the whole not being caught up to everyone else thing too, but he's still not catching on to what Drift's referring to.

Help him out.

[auramatic]

Drift already looked devastated at the news, but hearing that Dai Atlas isn't the only one dead by far hits him like another blow to his stomach, and it shows on his face as he curls in against himself, half-doubled over. If Drift were standing up when Rodimus gave him that news, he wouldn't be by now.

"Magnus told me we found Crystal City empty and ransacked," Drift says, his voice distant to his own audials. His gaze is just as distant, staring past Rodimus or else not quite reaching him, optics pale. "I didn't -- what happened to them, Rodimus? Who's responsible for this?"

His gaze goes back to Rodimus' face, coming back into focus even as an unspoken thought eats away at him from the inside -- did I have a hand in this, too?

[rodders]

"Oh, yeah. We did." Good job, Rodimus, that might have been important. But he has an answer for Drift, and it seems so far away - Luna 1 - even though it's only been six months. But other events have, maybe not eclipsed but certainly overshadowed, what went on on the lost moon of Cybertron. "Tyrest."

He attempts to pull himself closer, to tighten his grip around Drift and to draw him in. "I said he went crazy-- Drift, he tried to kill every single constructed cold bot in the universe. The Circle gave him all the test subjects he could want." And then he scrapped them and turned them into the Legislators and sometimes even Rodimus has a hard time accepting just how off the rails Tyrest went.

[auramatic]

Drift looks dizzy for a moment, the room spinning until he comes back to himself, still looking a little stricken. At least it wasn't his fault, but it's a small consolation -- they're still dead. He takes in the explanation with a quietly nauseated expression, glad that Rodimus is still tucked in close. It gives him a comfort he can't really put a name to, and Drift lets Rodimus tug him in closer, a sigh shuddering through his vents.

"Why," he mutters, not so much to Rodimus but just at the room around them.

[rodders]

His thumb rubs circles into Drift's plating idly, even as his expression is full of regret. He doesn't really want to talk about this, hates talking about anything and everything that happened on Luna 1. But Drift here makes it easier, sets his mind at ease and his spark whirring calmly in his chest. "Crazy, remember. Because killing everyone was the best way to get himself into Cyberutopia. He thought he could get rid of his guilt by doing it."

But Rodimus knows it doesn't work like that, and he thinks-- he thinks Drift knows that, too. Guilt doesn't work like that. Never has, never will.

[auramatic]

"No, I mean -- " Drift vents out a frustrated rush of air, still looking vaguely sick. "Why this? Why all of this? We're supposed to be on a quest for enlightenment. I never expected it to be easy, but I just thought -- "

Drift breaks off, shuttering his optics. He knows how guilt works just as well as Rodimus does, most certainly better than Tyrest -- well enough to feel its pangs now, mixed in with frustration. Drift's never considered himself naive, but he'd never imagined their quest would go so far off the rails. He just slumps against Rodimus, pressing his forehelm tiredly to the other mech's shoulder.

[rodders]

His hand comes up to cup around the back of Drift's helm, holding him close. Rodimus wishes he had an answer for Drift. But even from where he's standing he can't see a reason why they've gone through the stuff they have in any way that would mean something to the other bot.

"After Tyrest, Magnus said that maybe it was a good thing we didn't have a straight shot to the Knights. That finding it like that would mean people would start justifying what happened." And making their loss less important. Rodimus had agreed, even though Magnus could have sensed his disappointment. "Maybe it's just not the right time?"

He is incredibly bad at this form of comfort, of talking like Drift.

[auramatic]

Drift appreciates Rodimus' attempt at comforting him, even if it's not totally working -- he just curls in against Rodimus, nodding dimly. The timing doesn't seem to have much to do with it, honestly -- but then again, he's walking blind on this one. He has been from the start.

"Maybe," Drift murmurs, venting out a soft rush of air. He's still reeling at the news of all the death in the Circle of Light. "Sorry, I just -- I'll be all right. Thank you for telling me."

As if, you know, Rodimus hadn't totally forgotten to say anything in the first place.

[rodders]

Running his fingers up and down Drift's helm, Rodimus gives a sound of agreement with Drift's assessment of the situation. Yeah, maybe. "Should have told you earlier," is what he admits, however, because even he can recognize what a Bad Move that was.

He's silent for a longer moment and then: "You want me to stay?" Like this, with him. Sure, Ratchet might yell at them when he comes back from whatever he's doing, but Rodimus is willing to risk it when it comes to Drift. He's got nothing that needs his attention and he'd much rather spend his time here.

[auramatic]

Drift just lets Rodimus hold him like this, one hand cupping the back of his helm while he presses his face into Rodimus' shoulder. It's an odd comfort, something much closer than what he's accustomed to. But then, Drift isn't accustomed to much comfort at all.

"Yeah." Drift doesn't sound devastated or bitter anymore, just tired. But he slides his arm over Rodimus' side, drawing in as close as he can, because Rodimus' warm plating against his is soothing and because he knows Rodimus wants to stay. "Yeah, I do. If you don't mind."

[rodders]

"As long as you want," Rodimus says, letting Drift pull himself in. A little selfish to want to keep Drift next to him so he knows that he's okay, yeah, but the image of Drift broken on the dirt and the panic that threatened to overtake him still sits fresh in his mind. He just needs to know he hasn't lost Drift again, irrevocably. Because while he apologize and make amends for the exile, there's nothing that he can do to fetch Drift back from the Afterspark.

Shuttering his optics, Rodimus is content to just remain pressed against Drift for as long as possible, listening to the soft sound of his systems.