[ THE "DRIFT GOT HECKED UP BY TARN" CATCH-ALL POST ]

[auramatic]

Who: Drift, Rodimus, Ratchet, Megatron and whoever else wants to chime in
What: the inevitable fallout of the fucked up shit Tarn just did to Drift
Where: Red Alert's clinic
When: starting a few days after Tarn beat the shit out of Drift
Warnings: a lot of sad. a lot of gay

jk i'm lazy, thread starters below

Comments

[milkruns]

Ah, right. Tarn is only the leader of many. Jesus Christ, Megatron, you got into some hard shit. June pats the plating of his leg, moving on to wipe some of the energon from his ridiculous foot pipes.

"Megatron's the one responsible for Tarn, isn't he?" June says, frowning, but her expression is soft, patient. "He's the one who made the D.J.D. in the first place."

[rodders]

High school is hard for everyone, June, including people with the ability to make their OCs into reality. He gives her a questioning look when she moves on because he's really not sure how or why this is happening to him.

"Yeah. Because apparently having a bunch of bots who go after people who've defected or deserted is exactly the sort of thing you want to have." He gives a huff, resting an elbow on one of his knees. "Most of the NAILs are people who ran away at the beginning or former Autobots. People don't leave the Decepticons and live, mostly."

Drift had been an exception, still was. But it doesn't feel like it.

[milkruns]

Somehow, June's not surprised to see it. Not that she expects the Autobots have always kept their hands clean -- four million years is a long time, and your hands get dirty fast in war. She's had as much confirmed by a few others, more or less. June just watches him patiently, her lips still pursed in a frown as she reaches up to pat Rodimus' leg.

"So if Megatron's the one responsible for Tarn," June says, her voice oddly gentle, "why do you look so guilty?"

[rodders]

He doesn't know if it would be easier to live with some of the stuff he's done if he'd done it after the war properly begun, he doubts it though - you can't just blow up your city and justify it until it doesn't bother you anymore. It's what bothers him about Megatron, about this regret he just stumbled upon when Rodimus knows he claimed not to regret anything before the war really got going.

His optics flicker to June for a moment, expression crushed. He doesn't want to talk about the fact he can't protect his crew, especially someone he's just met. Magnus would know, Rung would know, and maybe he'll tell Drift eventually if he doesn't know, but... So he just looks at her before curling in more. Maybe if he doesn't answer he won't have to tell.

[milkruns]

Seeing Rodimus' face fall like this wrenches at June's heart, and she almost feels bad for asking as she watches him draw in against himself. He looks sick with -- not just guilt, but loss and frustration, too. June just draws in closer, letting the handkerchief fall to the ground so she can press both hands against Rodimus' plating.

"It's not your fault he went after your friends," June says softly. "Tarn's a monster -- one Megatron created. Anyone would want to protect the people they care about...but that doesn't make what he did your fault."

[rodders]

"I should have protected them," he moans from where he's hiding his face in his arms. That's what he's supposed to do but he can't, he can't. He didn't. And Drift almost died because of it, Ratchet lost his leg because of it and the more he tries the more they die on him.

He doesn't know what to do, and he doesn't like that feeling any more than the guilt and the frustration.

[milkruns]

June would hug that poor sad robot boy right now if she could, but unfortunately he is several times her size and she's all the way down here, so the best she can do is rest her weight against his leg, sighing..

"Rodimus..." Her voice is quiet and deeply sympathetic. "I know that nobody got hurt because you were idly standing by. I just don't believe that you let this happen."

[rodders]

Hug the sad, miserable robot baby, June. He's so sad. He's so miserable. He is in desperate need of a hug. And maybe June's right, but it doesn't make him feel any better about it.

"But I knew he was out there," he protests, as if by sheer force of will he can make her understand. "There had to have been something I could've done."

Something he could do now, and the desperation in his voice speaks to that more than his actual words.

[milkruns]

June looks up at his face, at the desperate misery in his optics, and something in her chest heaves. The plating's still a little slick, but June sighs and presses her cheek to it anyway, the closest she can really get to hugging him.

"No," she says sadly, her gaze staying on his face. "I don't think there was, Rodimus. You couldn't have stopped him. And if you'd died trying -- who would look after your crew then? I think they need you more than that."

[rodders]

And she's right, Rodimus knows this tiny breakable organic is right. He knows he can't die, he still has too much to do for that to be an option; dying in the process of giving Tarn what for isn't going to help him with Luna 1 and everything relating to that. But it doesn't make knowing his uselessness any easier, any less of a weight to bear.

Especially when it's Drift, who he's failed before and can't deal with the thought of having done it again.

So instead he just exvents heavily, joints and frame relaxing bit by bit as he accepts the comfort he recognizes she's trying to give. Although that is kind of weird - he's never really associated humans with it; spent too much time trying to be killed by them to even consider it.

[milkruns]

June smooths her hand over Rodimus' plating over and over again, a soothing gesture just in its repetition. Human or Cybertronian, she can see when someone's struggling with themselves -- it's strange how someone who's been through millions of years of war can still look so much like a boy badly in need of a hug. A robot boy, granted. June sighs quietly, resting the side of her head against his leg as she looks up at him, at the misery on his face as it unfolds and opens.

"You'd do anything to protect them, wouldn't you?" she murmurs.

[rodders]

Of course he would, that's what he's supposed to do. "Yeah," he says, before falling into the sort of melancholy sadness he'd been in. "And Drift, I--" But he doesn't want to finish that sentence, or that thought. He owes Drift. Drift deserves more.

Rodimus isn't sure what she's doing. He recognizes the comfort for what it is - exactly that, but it feels strange to get it from an organic creature less than half his size. But he reaches out to curl a hand around her in a return of the gesture, not mindful of the fact that his hands are covered in energon. Maybe, he thinks, humans aren't completely awful.

[milkruns]

Cybertronian or no, June knows that look when she sees it -- that general air of helplessness to your own heart as it's dragged slowly down by the undertow. It's just a glimmer, a brief glimpse, but it resonates with her.

"He must be very important to you." She doesn't know who Drift is or what he is to Rodimus, but she can tell, just from the way Rodimus' voice almost breaks just to mention him. She gives him a soft smile as he curls his fingers around her, choosing not to be particularly bothered by all the energon right now, and she pats his finger reassuringly.

"I know how hard it can be when you can't always be there to protect the ones you love. Believe me, I know." There's an echo of that same helplessness on her face, in her voice, and for just a moment she rests her weight against Rodimus' hand. "But it doesn't make it your fault."

[rodders]

"He's my best friend," Rodimus answers with a heaviness to his tone that he doesn't know, doesn't indicate that there might be something more to it. His best friend who he exiled because he wanted to, who he hasn't seen for months and as soon as he got him back, this happened.

He doesn't respond to that statement, because he doesn't agree with it, even though he can tell she's trying to help. He should have been there, he should have done something, and it feels hollow and empty that he couldn't. Not because he wants to be a hero, but because they're his responsibility and he already failed them once. He can't do that again.