video;

[officerjuicebox]

We're using this as a dating service now?

[For all of half a second, the big guy sort of looks like he's going to be annoyed about that... then just grins.]

Okay. Sure.

Hi.

[APPARENTLY THAT is all he feels he needs to say. Goddammit, Roller there are about a million things you could do better with your time, but no, you're trying to be flirty while you're in your chair made of boxes and your goddamn juicebox.]

[Because hey, when you've got nothing better to do with the next hour or so...]

Comments

[ancillary]

Machines dating.

[ She needs a moment while the space racism processes this. ]

[officerjuicebox]

What?

Where?

[He actually looks around, like he's going to see a printer getting it on with a copier somewhere.]

[ancillary]

You-

[ This guy. ]

Cybertronians.

[officerjuicebox]

Sure we date. Why wouldn't we?

[loyaute]

( what is this, a rare public appearance of arcee from one of the public terminals? heck yeah it is. )

Feel free to continue to waste your time with this.

[officerjuicebox]

Hey, come on. It's not like there's a whole lot else I can do right now.

If there is, no one's pointed it out.

[loyaute]

It's boring. ( he will find no disagreement with her on that. ) I thought interpersonal relationships were made in person. Not over a network.

( dATING???? )

[officerjuicebox]

Well... you can meet each other on a network first, then do all the ... relationshippy stuff later.

Right? It doesn't have to be all online.

[loyaute]

I guess. ( a long pause and then, almost cautiously: ) Pointless asking here, isn't it? We're trying to go back home. Forming 'lasting relationships', trying to pretend they're anything but temporary. Just seems like it's not going to be worth it.

[officerjuicebox]

Not really. Nothing's stopping us from having a little fun, right? Maybe nothing serious, but hey.

Dates are fun.

It's a better way to pass the time than getting in fights, I think.

[loyaute]

I like fighting better. It's easier.

[officerjuicebox]

Well, yeah. But this way, you end up with less dead bodies.

Usually.

[briefcase]

That's all you've got?

[officerjuicebox]

No...?

[briefcase]

Come on. If you're going to use my network to get a date you have to do better than that. It's just insulting to it.

[officerjuicebox]

Your network?

I thought I was being super charming already. I said "hi" and everything.

[briefcase]

Yeah, mine. I made it. Some helped.

I see you're swarming with potential mates from your irresistible "hi".

[officerjuicebox]

Good work, then!

Hey, give it some time... I just started.

[briefcase]

You didn't even give your name.

[officerjuicebox]

Oh. Right -- sorry, I'm sort of used to being recognized a little. The size thing and all.

Roller. Who're you?

[briefcase]

There's like five million huge guys and-- you're a digital recording! Nobody can tell exactly how big you are!

Brainstorm. I'm only the most brilliant scientist on Cybertron.

[officerjuicebox]

Yeah, but did five million make a delightful PSA about how they were totally available and had a great vid screen just waiting to be used?

[Answer: no.]

Oh, hey, great! That means you'll get us out of here, right? How's that going?

[briefcase]

[ Was he mocking him? Brainstorm squints at his screen for a few moments while he tries to decipher Roller's intent. ]

We're working on it.

[officerjuicebox]

[For once, no, Brainstorm, no one is mocking you.]

Well, good. Keep it up.

[planate]

You know, I met a big red guy - not Optimus, a different big red guy - and you two might have a good time if you met. Y'know, benchpressing giant boulders and flexing at each other.

[whatever you giant fucks do.]

[officerjuicebox]

... I dunno. Red isn't really my color.

Unless it's like, paired with blue or something.

[planate]

Ahhh, he was red and yellow. Too bad.

[officerjuicebox]

Yeah, that's a little too "on fire" for me. Sorry, little guy. Nice try, though.

[planate]

Well, I mean, there's always Shockwave or the two Optimiuses. Optimii. Whatever.

[pipes stop]

[officerjuicebox]

Yeah, I know Shockwave's here.

... two of Optimus? You mean Pax? There's two of him?

[planate]

Yeah! Crazy, right?

[officerjuicebox]

... so what's this other one like?

[And can he pawn Shockwave off on him.]

[planate]

[WOW ROLLER IS SOMEONE JELLY]

Shorter. Pretty much looks the same, though.

[officerjuicebox]

[No, someone has Guilt Issues and isn't dealing with them properly.]

... Huh.

Same color scheme, and everything?

[planate]

Yeah! Why don't you ask him?

[officerjuicebox]

Probably because I've never seen him?

[planate]

I'll give you that one.

[officerjuicebox]

Maybe I will. You know... later.

[planate]

[HE JUST. CHINHANDS.]

[officerjuicebox]

... what?

[planate]

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

[YOU LIIIIKE BIG BUFF BARA BOTS DONT U ROLLER]

[officerjuicebox]

You're looking at me weird.

[WHAT NO, NOT AT ALL.]

[planate]

No I'm not.

[officerjuicebox]

You kind of really are.

[planate]

I hadn't noticed.

[officerjuicebox]

What, really?

[planate]

Really.

[officerjuicebox]

Okay, well... now you know.