video;

[redshitlord]

Okay! Okay hey, look!

[Well, someone put a terminal on wheels. Which probably is to blame for the crappy signal. But hey! He can show things off this way.]

[And... well.]

[It's not much of a view. He's showing off what looks like... a robot frat house -- and that's being generous. You know the kind of place. Ragged furniture, discarded bits of whatnot on the floor... crappy paint job.]

Check this out. This is me and Grimlock's place. Jealous?

You should be. I bet no one has a place this nice yet. Literally no one. So you can all just line up and get a tour whenever we feel like it.

Bye~!

Comments

[orerrible]

[ Does the rock you live under have wi-fi ]

Shockwave.

[redshitlord]

[what.]

Wh--

What?

No way! No way, he like. He blew up or something! Didn't he? You?

[orerrible]

Or something.

[ You die building a robot dinosaur army or you live long enough to see yourself try to collapse time and space in on itself. ]

[redshitlord]

S-So... You're not dead?

[Oh scrap.]

[orerrible]

Clearly.

[ dwi ]

[redshitlord]

[There's all of half a second of him staring at the screen before he clasps his hands over the Autobot symbol on his chest. Like that's going to actually hide it from anything.]

[orerrible]

[ ...oh for fucks sake. Shockwave slowly shakes him head and laments his inability to sigh. ]

I know what you are, young Autobot. The brand you wear hardly concerns me.

[redshitlord]

But you're a Decepticon! Right?

You guys really don't like us. Like, a lot.

[orerrible]

I find the broad strokes your remark takes malapropos.

[ His ignorance was almost refreshing. Like a blank canvas...or white noise. ]

I'm beholden to no one but myself, and even so after a confluence of interests I indulge no one's position save perhaps your Prime's.

[redshitlord]

Mala... what? Isn't that a Skunkticon?

[Sideswipe shut up.]

... can you say that again, except in normal-bot-speak?

[orerrible]

[ Momentary dead silence as Shockwave has a silent, internal meltdown. Why - is he really that bored after hitting one too many walls in his attempts to reverse the damage done to Cybertron that he hadn't just hung up by now.

Why - what purgatory is this. ]

It means at present I'm neither Decepticon nor Autobot but simply that my interests are now aligned with Optimus Prime's.

[redshitlord]

[This is the purgatory of talking to bots who only started existing after the war.]

So... you're not going to kill us.

Okay! I guess that means I don't have to fight you!

[Because that would be the best idea in history.]

[orerrible]

[ beat. ]

You would not survive the attempt.

[redshitlord]

I could! I took down Steeljaw one time!

[First of all, no, you didn't. Second of all, no one else knows who the fuck that is.]

[orerrible]

It does not signify.

[ Where are your parents. ]

I am not given to boasting. [ Horseshit. ] Were I, however, I'd advise against this imagined conflict of yours.

[redshitlord]

Seriously? Someone has to know him!

[Kissing each other, probably.]

Why? You've only got one eye! I've got at least two.

[orerrible]

I will forever be balked at this pervasive notion empurata has hampered me in anyway.

[ [disgusted noise] ]


Reign in that bravado. What is past is past and Optimus would not look kindly at one of his being left in pieces on his doorstep because his pride got in the way of rational thinking.

[redshitlord]

... Empanada? Isn't that some human food?

[SIDESWIPE NO.]

I didn't say I would! I said I could!

[orerrible]

[ Shockwave may be incapable of sighing, but he managed an impressive ugh. ]

Rushing headlong to your own demise would be ill-advised.

[redshitlord]

But I didn't say I would!

[orerrible]

True, however neither statement is correct.

[redshitlord]

It could be!

[orerrible]

If you're quite finished posturing, then perhaps now is the time to listen to the advice Nautica is so charitably attempting to bring down to your level.

[redshitlord]

Nautica? Who's that?

[orerrible]

The one bothering to voice concerns about the structural integrity of your hole in the wall.