video;

[redshitlord]

Okay! Okay hey, look!

[Well, someone put a terminal on wheels. Which probably is to blame for the crappy signal. But hey! He can show things off this way.]

[And... well.]

[It's not much of a view. He's showing off what looks like... a robot frat house -- and that's being generous. You know the kind of place. Ragged furniture, discarded bits of whatnot on the floor... crappy paint job.]

Check this out. This is me and Grimlock's place. Jealous?

You should be. I bet no one has a place this nice yet. Literally no one. So you can all just line up and get a tour whenever we feel like it.

Bye~!

Comments

[redshitlord]

...

What happened to your face?

[orerrible]

Politics.

[ That is the simpliest answer, young shitbaby. ]

[redshitlord]

How do politics happen to a face?

[orerrible]

I take it you're younger than the Senate.

[redshitlord]

The what?

[orerrible]

[ Holy shit. ]

The M.T.O.'s educational program truly is something to behold in action.

[redshitlord]

Okay, look, if this is going to be a history lesson or something, you should probably save it.

Bee's tried.

Like... a lot.

[orerrible]

Then I've spared us both the trouble.

[ GET IT BECAUSE HE ...Well, he shot a Bee. ]

[redshitlord]

Uh...

Well. That's good!

Who even are you anyway? Monocle? Cyclopitron?

[orerrible]

[ Does the rock you live under have wi-fi ]

Shockwave.

[redshitlord]

[what.]

Wh--

What?

No way! No way, he like. He blew up or something! Didn't he? You?

[orerrible]

Or something.

[ You die building a robot dinosaur army or you live long enough to see yourself try to collapse time and space in on itself. ]

[redshitlord]

S-So... You're not dead?

[Oh scrap.]

[orerrible]

Clearly.

[ dwi ]

[redshitlord]

[There's all of half a second of him staring at the screen before he clasps his hands over the Autobot symbol on his chest. Like that's going to actually hide it from anything.]

[orerrible]

[ ...oh for fucks sake. Shockwave slowly shakes him head and laments his inability to sigh. ]

I know what you are, young Autobot. The brand you wear hardly concerns me.

[redshitlord]

But you're a Decepticon! Right?

You guys really don't like us. Like, a lot.

[orerrible]

I find the broad strokes your remark takes malapropos.

[ His ignorance was almost refreshing. Like a blank canvas...or white noise. ]

I'm beholden to no one but myself, and even so after a confluence of interests I indulge no one's position save perhaps your Prime's.

[redshitlord]

Mala... what? Isn't that a Skunkticon?

[Sideswipe shut up.]

... can you say that again, except in normal-bot-speak?

[orerrible]

[ Momentary dead silence as Shockwave has a silent, internal meltdown. Why - is he really that bored after hitting one too many walls in his attempts to reverse the damage done to Cybertron that he hadn't just hung up by now.

Why - what purgatory is this. ]

It means at present I'm neither Decepticon nor Autobot but simply that my interests are now aligned with Optimus Prime's.

[redshitlord]

[This is the purgatory of talking to bots who only started existing after the war.]

So... you're not going to kill us.

Okay! I guess that means I don't have to fight you!

[Because that would be the best idea in history.]

[orerrible]

[ beat. ]

You would not survive the attempt.

[redshitlord]

I could! I took down Steeljaw one time!

[First of all, no, you didn't. Second of all, no one else knows who the fuck that is.]

[orerrible]

It does not signify.

[ Where are your parents. ]

I am not given to boasting. [ Horseshit. ] Were I, however, I'd advise against this imagined conflict of yours.

[redshitlord]

Seriously? Someone has to know him!

[Kissing each other, probably.]

Why? You've only got one eye! I've got at least two.